I Can Only Think Of 46 Other Times When I’ve Been More Disappointed In A Pornstar

On this week, or maybe last week, or many many weeks ago, or quite possibly some time in future weeks, of the podcast Chris and I got together to discuss items that no one, including ourselves, care about, such as the whole debacle with the football player who you’d only know if you watched a lot of football or were from the New England area, Ron Gronkowski (he’s not super unknown, but little known enough for someone who watches football religiously every week to mistake his name for Ron, when it’s Rob) and up and – this seems like an obvious place to insert cumming but I’m going to stick with – coming pornstar Bibi Jones, who I had better known under the name of Britney Beth.

God damn that Jersey is lucky...every sunday it gets to be covered in that hunky man's sweat...see, I zigged when you thought I was going to zag. Clever, right? And now everyone thinks I'm gay.

The reason this became a news item was because pictures surfaced of a shirtless Rob Gronkowski with Bibi Jones who was wearing his football jersey. The Kraft family, owners of the New England Patriots and not the best store bought Mac and Cheese – that’s right bitch, I said what we were all thinking – weren’t pleased with this, because apparently we’re all supposed to believe these athletes who make millions of dollars and are in great shape don’t sleep with slutty woman, or at least maybe they do, but God forbid they sleep with a porn star, because porn stars are so much worse than your average slutty woman.

Okay, a little tangent that might turn into a big tangent bur probably not, but actually probably will if I don’t actually ever get to the tangent. I think I respect female porn stars more than general slutty woman, not that I necessarily disrespect either of them. First of all we can’t over look that porn stars provide the highest of pleasure to boys going through puberty and middle aged men in sexless marriages, which by the way probably helps keeps the cheating numbers down – when woman cheat I think they usually want more than sex, but when men cheat it’s almost always about sex, at least this is what I gather from hearing stories and knowing a few people who have cheated, so instead of a guy having to go out and look for a situation where he can cheat, because this isn’t like Mad Men where every woman Don Draper runs into is powerless to is sex aura, which is essentially him giving off the vibe of, “Yes, you want to fuck me, I know it, you know it, but I don’t give a fuck, and you do,” the real life guy instead just browses the internet and watches women perform acts that he’d never get to experience in real life, so this sounds crazy, and obviously I exaggerate a little, but porn helps save marriages.

Also, and this is still part of the tangent but I’m starting a new paragraph because people tend to hate large paragraphs, also people seem to hate when the writer describes their thought process, also people hate when people tell them what they hate, porn stars are looked down on because they get paid for sex, which is basically prostitution, except they don’t get paid by the person having sex with them, they essentially get paid by the people watching them, so they’re one level beyond strippers, take the viewers away and they don’t exist – by the way, I think prostitution should be legal and regulated and what the hell, why not taxed. So what’s the difference between a slut and a porn star? The porn star respects their self enough, and isn’t ashamed, to actually ask for money. Again, in both situations I don’t necessarily disrespect the person. I don’t necessarily want a girl who likes to mess around with a lot of boys, although it seems that’s what I’m most attracted to, but I find that out after the fact, and if you’re one of the girls I’ve liked and you read this I apologize, but back to not disrespecting these people, a person can do whatever they want to their body as long as it’s not hurting someone else. So sleep with whoever you want, however many times as you want, just as long as they’re not already in a relationship which you’re trying to ruin, which segues me back into what I was originally talking about.

Bibi Jones is apparently known for sleeping with athletes, and not just young guys like Rob Gronkowski, but athletes who are married, which is someone I very much don’t respect, and will forever make it hard – not in the way you’re thinking pervert…yes, that was addressed to me – for me to watch the porn star who was on her way to becoming my favorite.

That’s why this was a big story to me, because I had recently been admiring the works of Britney Beth, who I later found out was Bibi Jones, who I later found out is not so decent of a person. Again, I don’t care that she’s in porn, and I don’t care that she sleeps with a lot of athletes, but I can’t get over her sleeping with married guys. What makes this worse is that after doing all this research (research equals hours of porn) hey, in order to find out who a person really is you need to find out how their insides work, and I definitely got a real good look at her insides, some would say a much deeper look than I really cared for…I would say that. But after all this I found out she’s from Scottsdale Arizona, which makes sense that she hooked up with Rob Gronkowski because he went to the University of Arizona, but how this relates to me is that my former love who’ve I’ve spoken about a lot on this blog lives in Scottsdale, so now anytime I see Bibi Jones I’m gonna think of my former love, which means that I can no longer have sex with Bibi Jones, not that I want to anymore, or ever did because she was in porn and therefore I could never compete sexually, but had she been a decent person we could have cuddled. I don’t care how big those dicks she had were, they can’t cuddle like I can. But now she can kiss my cuddling ass goodbye, because I ain’t no cuddle whore.

Click here to listen to the podcast where me and my friend Chris talk about this, Ron Paul, The only black republican – no offense other black republicans…I say as if there are really other black republicans – and all sorts of other stuff.


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25 Responses to I Can Only Think Of 46 Other Times When I’ve Been More Disappointed In A Pornstar

  1. Becoming Bitter says:

    Before I comment… I want to add once again that I am not your typical woman.

    I absolutely agree with you. Prostitution should be legalized and taxed! Why? I don’t want any of those dumb fucks (men or women) messing up other people’s marriages or just innocent people period – like those pedophiles, rapists, molesters, and etc.

    No, I don’t watch football, but that shouldn’t surprise you should it? I would also like to agree with the sentiment that porn stars are not any less than any other stripper out there. Adultery sickens me so yes that would make any cheating guy a douche bag in my books. Most people tend to blame the woman in these cases. That pisses off! It takes two tango people!

    No, you’re not gay. You are perverted yes, but you aren’t gay. I watched two MVs recently that gave me an ear rape. If you’re interested in a good laugh… let me know. I’ll post the videos here.

    • Danniel says:

      Yeah, rapists and molesters are horrible…but I don’t really see the problem with pedophiles…I’m kidding of course. Just wanted you to think I was a horrible person for half a second.

      I blame the person who is doing the cheating the most. Yeah, the person who is helping the person cheat by sleeping with them is a bad person too if they know that person is in a relationship, but that person, whether guy or girl, isn’t in a relationship with someone who loves them, or at least is under the belief that the person isn’t going to cheat on them.

      While I do think girls are blamed most often, I do find it funny that whenever a guy finds out a girl is cheating on him or catches her or whatever he always wants to kick the guy she’s sleeping with ass. Most likely he’s just some douche bag trying to get laid. Sure he deserves a good ass kicking if he knew what he was doing, but most of the anger should be held toward the girlfriend doing the cheating. Obviously don’t kick her ass, although she deserves one – I’m not sexist and don’t promote beating woman, but guy or girl if you cheat you’re pretty horrible, and I know there are excuses, some better than the others, but generally if a person cheats they deserve bad things to happen to them, and actually if someone called me sexist they’re wrong because I’m being the exact opposite, guys and girls should be treated the same, a girl who cheats deserves the same punishment as a guy who cheats…barring the same circumstances of course.

      • Becoming Bitter says:

        Danniel unless you are a rapist, molester, pedophile, or etc. I’ll still be under the belief that you are a good person. I agree with you once again – both are horrible people, but the person in the relationship is the worst. Exactly! I find it funny too. The guy is all “I’m gonna rip your ass apart” to the other dude, but he fails to see the dumb bitch who cheated on him. Oh I would LOVE to give those girls a good ass kicking. Unfortunately, no guy ever asks me to do the honors. 😦

        Side Note:
        How good are you a fulfilling dares? Because I have a dare for you…

        • Danniel says:

          It depends on the dare.

          • Becoming Bitter says:

            Oh come on! Man up.

            The dare is… that you have to watch this video for up to 2 minutes (and maybe 40 sec). Wait… calm your perverted mind down. This is not a porn or stripping video. I’m the purest kind of Bitter you know.

            BTW I’m giving you this dare because everyone who I have challenged so far has failed. So it’s up to you Danniel.

            The link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

            • Danniel says:

              I watched the whole thing. I had heard people saying what what in the butt for a long time now but I never knew what it was from.

              • Becoming Bitter says:

                You have impressed me Sir Danniel. You have been the only person I know in blog or real life to get through the whole video. Although to be honest, I can’t be sure you did watch the whole thing. But! You did promise to be honest. Anyways, did the MV make you laugh? Or were you too disgusted?

                I have another dare for you! This video… no body could get past the first 20 seconds. I’m not lying. If you can make it past 1 minute – I’ll give you a bitter award (or I don’t know name your prize). BTW, this video is about vampire sex.

                Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-2kv_0H5dg

                • Danniel says:

                  I watched it all the way through. I didn’t laugh and I wasn’t disgusted. The second one sounded like a Britney Spears song except with a slightly worse voice, and the first had silly lyrics, but other than that it wasn’t any worse than most of the crap they play at night clubs. And the lyrics were silly, but not any worse than those shitty songs at clubs. These videos do nothing at all to me. But if you played me Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO at least I’d get angry because I can’t believe so many people like that shit.

  2. Becoming Bitter says:

    Oh God no! No, I don’t listen to them at all! Are all you nearly mid twenty males immune to things that make everyone else laugh? I say this because one time I showed this graduate student (who helped me with my research) named “Al” this funny nigahiga video and he was all “Meh whatever”.

    Geez you lot are tough nuts to crack! I couldn’t stop laughing in between urges to vomit.

    • Danniel says:

      I don’t like laughing at people being dumb, whether they mean it or not. The first video was just some guy saying what what in the butt a bunch mostly. There almost wasn’t any other words. I believe that the guy knew what he was doing when he made the video. I think how people reacted to it in general is exactly what he wanted. I choose to respond to it with nothing, because that’s what it was to me. With the second video I believe the guy really thinks he made a good song. In reality he made a shitty song, but he probably put a lot of effort into making that shitty song. I’m going to laugh at something he cares about. I’m not going tell him it’s shitty. I’m going to respond to it with nothing, because to me it’s nothing. I don’t like laughing at other people’s stupid things. I do it some times, but I don’t enjoy it.

      When it comes to laughing at stupid things I much prefer something done like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Bc0mG5omTo

      • Becoming Bitter says:

        I was expressionless at the beginning. Then I was confused by the growing number of daughters throughout the video. That confusion lasted until he told the dude with the WTF face that he was his daughter. Now that cracked me up. Then I laughed some more when he said “Condoms feel weird”.

        About laughing at stupid people… If it makes me a douche bag then it does and I don’t feel bad at laughing at those people either. I know… I’m a mean and horrible person. Of course if someone gets hurt or makes an innocent mistake – I won’t laugh.

        You are right about that song though. He did put a lot of effort in it and it was shitty. Did you know that he was that very same emo-gay guy that was crying for Britney Spears?

        What do you think about George Lopez? Russel Peters? I’ve never seen or heard of Derrick until the link you posted. I’ll have to admit they’re not that bad. *Smiles*

        • Danniel says:

          It doesn’t make you a douche bag. Most people like laughing at that stuff. Yes, I knew that was the same guy.

          They seem like nice people, I don’t particularly care for any of their stand up. I don’t hate it. I haven’t heard much of it. I don’t like stand up comedy that much in general.

          • Becoming Bitter says:

            Okay I just watched Opposite Day and National Spelling Bee… Hahahaha! “You’ll be hired” and “Nigger faggot”
            I’m think almost all of my guy friends will like their stuff.

            • Becoming Bitter says:

              *thinking* I hate when I make typos in my comments. It really bothers me. I forgot to thank you for sharing the video. So, thank you. Btw I ~love~ Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO. Kidding! Just wanted you to think I had bad taste in music for a second.

              • Danniel says:

                I think everyone including myself has bad taste in music.

                • Becoming Bitter says:

                  I wonder if it’s too early for me to ask you this question. Most of the people I follow or who follow me on WP seem to have already formed an opinion about me. So, I’m going to ask. What do you think of me? Like if you were to describe me what would you say? Please don’t be charming. Be honest. I’ve gotten some of the nicest, strangest, and down right rudest answers – without me asking.

  3. Danniel says:

    I told you I’d be honest…and honestly that’s a question I’m not going to answer, for various reasons that I suppose you’ll have to wonder about. I barely even know what I think of you, so part of me not answering is that as well.

    • Becoming Bitter says:

      Lol as expected of the adorably nervous/question mark guy. I feel bored so I’m bugging you. Some guy called me something along the lines of a quack. Anyway, I have another question… something I should have asked earlier… have you ever read any of the Harry Potter books? I just assume people have all the time and I never bother asking.

      • Danniel says:

        I have not. Nor have I seen the movies. I probably won’t because I hate almost everything and as I stated before I don’t like hating things.

        • Becoming Bitter says:

          Okay then tell me what you like without mentioning the words: porn, sex, or girls (or anything related to them). If you don’t want to answer you don’t have to. I just feel like bugging you.

  4. Danniel says:

    I don’t love porn. Porn is deeply conflicting to me. Almost all of the time I spend watching porn I’m wondering who the girl really is and how they got there. I don’t like sex. I’ve never had sex, so I don’t know if I’ll like it or not. I imagine I’ll love sex if I do it with the right person. Girls are the number one cause of my sadness, and yet I still love them. Well, a few of them. Funny how when you have one thing you can be the happiest you’ve ever been. Yet when you don’t have that same one thing you can become the saddest you’ve ever been….I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Oops, I think I did exactly what you told me not to.

    • Becoming Bitter says:

      Danniel I don’t know if it was obvious or not, but I’m a virgin too. Guys aren’t my source of sadness per se because I’ll be married off to whoever my parents choose. I’m happy with that though. I don’t pity you, but I wish I could be your fairy godmother. Odd is not? We’ve met like what 2 something weeks ago. You are a wonderful guy and I’m sure you’ll find the right girl. I wish you wouldn’t be sad over girls who couldn’t understand your worth as a person. Whenever someone I know is sad… I have a strong urge to make them happy. So, I wish you would be happy. *pinches Danniel’s cheeks* There! Now there’s a smile on your face.

  5. lianamerlo says:

    I was just scrolling through your blog, and saw the photo in this post and rolled my eyes. Luckily you redeemed yourself with the caption.
    Glad you haven’t changed over the past few months!
    I will take more time to actually catch up on your blog very soon. Miss your music and writing!!

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