What if this post was just about things I put in my ass this week? And I don’t even talk about them. I just make a list. A penny, triple A battery, dildo, not so lucky rabbits foot, cats tail while still attached to the cat. But that’s not what this post is about. This is just another excuse for me to write about my life, or rather my lack of life, seeing as I do nothing all the time, and exceptionally well if I may so as far as complimenting myself.
So in the past week three girls of my past that I haven’t talked to in months have contacted me essentially saying that they miss me, and what I mean by essentially saying that they miss me is that they literally said, “I miss you.” This happens a lot to me. Not to give myself any credit, but if I’m good at one thing, and there’s a lot of evidence to support that I am only good at one thing, it’s that I can get girls who live thousands of miles away to like me. However, I can’t get them to maintain that liking. Because in order for them to miss me they have to go awhile without talking to me, and that’s usually because I scare them away or God hates me and puts tons of attractive boys around them which are much more appealing than me.
So I’m not surprised that these girls miss me. I’m a great guy….um with the asterisk that I’m only great if the girl just got broken up with and is lonely and needs someone to sheepishly heap praise on her – all of which I firmly believe they deserve. But what I am surprised with is that these three girls all contacted me within the same week. Very odd.
I feel like they must all be in on this together. “We’ve all broke Quentin’s heart before” (to be fair only one of them did) but none of them slept with me, which is much worse than breaking my heart. All the guys in the house feel me!? (Not a wise thing to say when the only people ever to read this blog are girls and one guy who isn’t gay but finds penises to be attractive) so anyway back to my girls of my past talking to each other thingie…”We’ve all broke Quentin’s heart before, but that’s beginning to be no fun and way too easy. I say, whichever one of the three I may be,” I’ve got my guesses, “we all try to break his heart at once. The broken heart trifecta. It will be priceless.” Ha! Tough luck doing that. Little do they know I no longer have a heart. Just little red chucks of former love coated with bacon grease. So jokes on them.
Except not really. This whole three girls contacted me within a week thing would be a whole lot more interesting if it didn’t now coincide with Annabelle now officially not talking to me in a week. The old Quentin would be freaking out right about now. Worried that she might’ve found some other guy, with a bigger dick and way bigger wallet. But the new Quentin remains calm…knowing that of course she found some other guy with a way bigger dick and way way bigger wallet.
I kid, I kid. But seriously, this has happened to me way too many fucking times, and I don’t write this for pity or anything because I bring this on myself. First off I’m a terrible human being who deserves no love. But more so than that I go for all the wrong girls. The ones way out of my league and incredibly far away from me. I don’t know what Annabelle’s deal is. But I guess I’m just going to accept it as the end for now again. It sucks because I thought we were as emotionally connected as we’ve ever been, and she gave me plenty of reason to believe that we were waiting to be with each other. I mean nothing big, you know, just when I asked her if she would wait to be with me she said yes. But in her defense she might have thought I said, “Are you gonna leave me because I’m ugly and have a big nose?” (Enough with the self deprecation) In my defense I only do it to hide the pain…and also I deserve it.
I don’t know. I love Annabelle. It sucks how much I love her. At least parts of her. And not just her big boobs, even though I do fashion myself a boob man. She has an amazing personality, so this ending, if this is in fact the end, at least for now, really sucks because there are so many beautiful girls, and while there are so many great personalities, her personality was so super special.
I wasn’t going to talk about all that that much. I wanted just a paragraph or two on it. Let’s move on. This is nothing but a transitionary paragraph. Transitionary isn’t a word apparently. But adding ary to the end of words is excitingary.
On that youtube thingie I came across this singer I kind of enjoyed. She’s really cute. Far too cute for me to care about. Her name is Jayme Dee and she’s like almost a perfessional singer but not quite yet, but her videos have a lot of views but they’re mostly just covers of popular songs but in her own style, or maybe not her own style, but in a different style than the regular versions of the songs, which is something I like when hearing covers of songs.
I wrote this thing yesterday. Today Annabelle told me she’s dating someone else. I told her I love her and I hope he makes her the happiest man in the world. I got angry. I did my best to hide it from her, but I’m fucking angry. Not at her. So this is goodbye…until three months from now she calls to say she misses me…and my life is forever on repeat.