Technical Difficulties is the best, and more importantly only, college radio show I listen to!…or have ever listened to.

After taking a week off of their college radio show because Beb had to go be in a wedding (not her own) in Arizona, Chris and Beb return with the cliff hanger reveal to why they didn’t record a show last week – I won’t spoil that for you – and discuss many other entertaining news stories that I can’t remember, like a lady getting trapped in a corn maze and calling 911, or yogurt specially flavored with semen, or real life Superheros who specialize in using mace and beating up drunk or dancing people – just in time for the remake of Footloose – so if you’d like to listen to the lovely Chris and dovely Beb just click on the link I provided somewhere within this paragraph, it’s very possible the link is the entire paragraph.

The first, and possibly only, thing I want to discuss is this real life superhero. He lives in Seattle and goes by the name Phoenix Jones, which I find weird because to me that’s like Wolverine being called Wolverine Rosenberg, not that Wolverine is Jewish, just Rosenberg is a funnier name for him to have than Johnson or something. The point is that why does the superhero need a last name? Batman is just Batman, Hulk is just The Hulk. Did Phoenix Jones really want to use the name Phoenix but it was already taken by the X-man character Phoenix so he just thought, “I’ll just add the name Jones to avoid any lawsuits,”?

Phoenix Jones busy fighting crime

I like that this regular person decided to make a suit and kick seemingly bad people’s asses all across the city. I’ve always been wondering why more people haven’t been doing this. I like to think they have they just end up getting killed or beat up really badly and then quit before they ever really get noticed (really, that’s something you liked to think about?) well not from a happy standpoint, just from a comedy standpoint. Also the most likely people do that would be nerds who read a lot of comics, and nerds probably wouldn’t make the best superheros unless they actually somehow got super powers, and even then if they had super powers they’d probably be less motivated to fight crime and more motivated to use their invisibility to sneak into the girl’s locker room.

Phoenix Jones doesn’t have any super powers, which is good because if he did he’d most likely either become evil, because I’m of the opinion that people are horrible, or that he’d have to have a foil, or rather he’d be the foil to this other super powered evil person, which sucks because I have enough problems in my life to have to worry about some guy blocking out the sun or freezing the entire city, or destroying every copy of Breaking Bad season 4 before I got to see it. That’d be way too much to worry about when I’m already like, “Why isn’t she calling me? I’m not fitted for any job. Driving is so worrisome but if I don’t get a license I’ll never get laid.” Meanwhile in Africa a little kid says, “I just want some water. Doesn’t even have to be clean water. And what’s this toilet thing? One of our villagers came back speaking a legend of this porcelain bowl filled with clean water that people pee and poop into. Obviously he went insane. No one would ever pee and poop into clean water while millions of people die every year of dehydration. Right? Right? Why aren’t you answering me?”

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About Danniel

http://closertoclarity.com/
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3 Responses to Technical Difficulties is the best, and more importantly only, college radio show I listen to!…or have ever listened to.

  1. Becoming Bitter says:

    Ewww. Semen flavored yogurt?! Never really listened to their show. Never heard of this superhero either. I freaking love superheroes. I like to imagine that I have their powers and I’m kicking people’s asses left and right. Oh what I would give to be Batman. The third movie is coming out this summer isn’t it? I would love to beat the crap out of people. Beats the verbal ranting and raving. Yes, I’m a nerd. So what? At least I’m not geek or freak. For your kind information I do not read comics. I read mangas. Yes, I agree if he had superpowers he would probably be evil or be like Batman. My sister thinks like you about the clean water and defecating part. This is what I tell her. Can you do something to help those people? She says no. Then I tell her don’t worry about it now. When you’re able to do something about it, then do it.

    • Danniel says:

      I actually can do something about it, I’m just too lazy and selfish. But to make up for it I hate myself 🙂 I just wish as a nation we’d be better about recycling and not wasting stuff. I don’t necessarily blame people, like your sister, who can’t really do anything about it. Just like it’d be cool if we could all get along and make more energy efficient toilets and cars and things for cheaper prices so we could conserve resources and be able to help the people who really need it.

      I’m not into superheros or superhero movies. I hate christian bale so I don’t want to see the last batman in the dark knight series. Don’t ask why I hate him. I have my reasons, but I don’t like to talk about them. Also you’d think I was insane.

      • Becoming Bitter says:

        I completely agree with the recycling part and not wasting stuff part. I actually recycle a lot myself. I try not to waste anything. If I can work with something longer (be it clothes, or anything) I’ll do it. Ah well Danniel America is lazy. “We” don’t care about cool. We care about comfort. So what if the shoes we buy were made in some factory located in a foreign country where some workers don’t make enough to afford food. It’s not “our” problem. That is what this nation is thinking. So you’re trying to say your cooler than me? Fine whatever. I am not a fan of Christian Bale. I am a fan of Batman. No, they are not the same. I would never press you to discuss something that makes you bitter. That would mean that I’m a bitter person and we both know that’s not true. I know the feeling though. I hate … ughh can’t think of his name right now. Oh I forgot to add this to your last post. My “calm myself” song is Island in the sun by Weezer. Takes me to my happy place.

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