Technical Difficulties Episode 1

So I was going to write about my friend Christopher’s radio show he’s doing over there at that building where all those college students do their learning, but instead Annabelle decided to call me tonight and of course tell me exactly what I wanted to hear after not having talked to her for over a week, that she’s been talking to her ex boyfriend trying to make him feel better after getting his heartbroken and how he’s trying to take advantage of her by trying to get back with her, then when she refuses he calls her a cunt- because when a girl turns you down that’s the best way to win her graces back? – and then calls to apologize to her and then tells her that they should fuck, and all the while all I can think is, “Really, so even that’s more appealing than talking to me?” I could complain for hours, but instead I’ll write this right quick and then force myself to bed where to help get to sleep I imagine cuddling with a pornstar, who even though she loves sucking nine inch long fat dicks is willing to give up her entire luxurious life because she loves me (sadly he’s not exaggerating) I’m exaggerating a little bit. She loves 8 and a half inch dicks, so if I can clone my penis, and glue it on top of my original penis, I can almost please her, but she doesn’t care about that because she loves me for my personality, which they all say but that never makes me feel any better (is this still part of the helping get to sleep fantasy?) No, we’re talking about my life now (oh God) here comes the tears…anyway,

I truly am proud of Christopher doing his radio show. He identified what he wanted to do, and he did it, and almost better than I expected – except not really, and we’ll get to that in a minute, except I’m probably going to forget – sure he could have just dropped out of community college, and never got his license, and never got a job, and never got a girlfriend, and cried his self to bed because he so wrongly falls in love with girls millions of miles away (quit describing yourself) but he persisted and has done great in college, and now has more success behind his belt. Is that a saying?

I said almost better than I expected because even though I’m super negative when it comes to watching movies, or TV shows, or even listening to new podcasts, and never expect them to be good, surprisingly when I went to listen to the first episode of Christopher’s college radio show, Technical Difficulties, there weren’t any feelings that it wasn’t going to be good. In fact the opposite was true. I trust Christopher’s comedic abilities, and knew there would be a girl on it, who I will forever refer to as Beb from now on, and I was 95% sure I would development an at first cute but later surprisingly serious crush on said Bed – that’s actually looking like it won’t come true – so I kind of expected the show to be really good, in fact too good. So good that it will over shadow everything I have ever accomplished in my life and would make me feel bad.

I meant to put a picture of a cat with two faces, but this was much cuter.

If I was in therapy, which I should be, one of the most brought up things would have to be my jealousy. I want all my friends to be successful. I want all the girls I like to fall in love – not necessarily with me – and I just generally want everyone to be way happier and more successful than me, but for not at all good reasons (isn’t this post supposed to be about your friend’s show?) he has a semi successful college radio show, he doesn’t need more attention. I say the reasons aren’t good because only part of it is because I want them to be happy. Most of it is – and although I deny this I truly believe at least to some extent this is how I subconsciously feel – because being less successful and less happy than everyone else makes me special. I want to be the best, but obviously I can’t be. So the only way for me to be unique is to be the worst. I hate that I so desperately want to feel special. I hope that it’s that I want to feel special, and not be special. Because maybe I can feel special if I work hard enough at it. But I don’t know if I can ever really be special. But I’ve been doing better, and I want Christopher’s radio show to be a hit, and I want all of my ex lovers, who I call ex lovers even though I’ve never slept with them even though they’ve slept with a  lot of other guys, to go on to happiness, and at least part of it is because I really care about them, so because of that I’m writing this post because I really believe in Christopher’s radio show, and not at all because I’m not a part of it and that makes me feel odd so by writing this I can somehow squeeze my way into the Technical Difficulties history book.

Christopher, who’s DJ name is apparently Chris Chris because Chris was taken, and Beb, who’s real name I won’t speak of in honor of my favorite weather girl of all time Stephanie Kralevich, make a great pair. They disagree on seemingly everything, which is by complete coincidence. I agreed with one of the hosts a lot more than the other, but to stay unbiased I won’t mention who I agreed with more. Poor, naïve Beb was always wrong and so naïve about everything, while Christopher had spot on criticisms and wittiery all over the place (wittiery?) yeah, like being witty, but in a made up word form.

They complimented each other well, and once the first half of the show where they give each other compliments was over they got right into the hard hitting news, such as poor realistic characters on Sesame Street, and kitties with two faces, or possibly two kitties with one body, and then other stuff that I forgot, such as a drunken moose stuck in a tree and fat guys complaining at White Castle.

Okay, I don’t really have much to say about Technical Difficulties, except that it’s exceptionally good and you should listen to it, which you can do by clicking on the link I provided…or will provide…or whatever. The important thing is that you listen to the very funny and very cute show – Bed provides the funny and Christopher the cute – and for every click a stripper somewhere across America is one penny closer to getting that regretting tattoo of her boyfriend’s name laser removed off her left breast.

Link to Christopher and Beb’s spectacular college radio program that I guarantee you will enjoy, and if you don’t enjoy, then I didn’t mean you, I meant that other person, but not you, so that in no way effects my successful guarantee percentage rate.


About Danniel
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