#22 My Ricochet by Northstar
If nothing else I implore you to listen to the last one minute and thirteen seconds of this song.
What I’ve loved about doing this countdown is that I’ve discovered things I’ve never noticed about songs I love. I don’t pretend to completely understand this song, but I’m a bit closer I believe. I’ve always loved the lyrics towards the end of this song that I thought were,
“And I will never understand love of the roses that grow for you. But I know they keep on dying. They always keep on dying. I don’t care about you now you’re not alive.”
But I was mistaken, for as I thought those were the lyrics, along with apparently everyone else who posted the lyrics for this song online, but after reading the lyrics straight out of the CD booklet which I own it turns out that “I will never understand love of the roses that grow for you” is actually “I will never understand love or the roses that grow for you.” It’s or, not of. This makes a huge difference. The person doesn’t understand both love and the roses that grow for, assumedly, her.
“I don’t care about you now you’re not alive,” isn’t using “you’re not alive” in a metaphorical sense, as if she’s still alive she just dead to him. She’s really dead. And while I don’t fully know why he doesn’t care about her – although part of me believes it’s because she’s dead, and therefore even if we are to believe there is some sort of after life, for the song does say “Why don’t you melt way down here, with Heaven so far and Hell so near,” whatever happens to her spirit is out of his hands – but the line, “You threw up my best skin, ‘cause you never loved it,” suggests that she didn’t care about him as much as he cared about her when she was alive, and now he holds some resentment over that. And because he uses the word “now” I have no choice but to assume he cared about her before.
The talk of roses growing for her is mostly what makes me think she’s really dead, whereas before I thought it was just love of roses growing for her and didn’t really know what to think, but I liked the poeticness of it. The roses, I believe, are the flowers being placed at her grave by loved ones. Just as he doesn’t understand the love that grows for her – or perhaps just love in general – he doesn’t understand why people care enough to keep replacing the roses. I assume they keep being replaced because he says, “I know they keep on dying.” In order to keep dying they must first keep being alive, and the easiest answer for that is that they keep being replaced.
This post probably seems absolutely meaningless to everyone but me, and perhaps any Northstar fans who stumble upon it. I don’t care much for dissecting lyrics, and the only reason I do it now is because I loved, and still do love, these lyrics, and I’ve sung them a lot – according to Lastfm I’ve listened to this song 207 times, that’s three different versions of the song, regular, acoustic, live, and I’ve probably sung the song about 1/3 of those times, and then probably 100 other times when the song just popped into my head.
He knows that the roses keep on growing and dying for her, which means somehow, whether being told by someone or visiting it himself, he’s keeping tabs on what is going on with her grave. I think he still cares about her. I don’t know if I have ample reason to believe that, or I just want to believe it, but I believe it.