#24 I’ll Go With Plan B

#24 Do It Again by You, Me, and Everyone We Know

This is a song about fucking. Not making love, not sex, not the pop duo from the early 90s known for lip syncing (Milli Vanilli), but fucking.

As you probably know by now I am obsessed with fucking. Not the actual act of me partaking in it, but rather just the idea of two individuals having wild, emotionless, sex. I’m not opposed to it in any way. I feel human beings of all shapes, sizes, and sexual orientations should be allowed to have sex with as many partners as they want without being labeled a whore, slut, or in the case of a man, “the most awesomest dude ever.” Or maybe the term whore and slut should just be taken more lightly by those who have sex with more than whatever is currently considered the proper number of sexual partners for them to have had at their age.

If a girl has sex with ten guys in one week then she’s probably (in slang, not literal terms) a slut, and hopefully one with either a good healthcare plan or a rigorous cock screening test. But what’s the problem with that? Does everyone have to be happily married by the time they’re 30? Does everyone have to be happily married at all? It seems like one of those things that everyone would want, but some people don’t want it as soon as others, and some people don’t want to ever get married at all. I’m not saying we should all go out and fuck one another. But if people want to fuck I say let them fuck in peace. Unless it’s an orgy, then by all means stick your way right on in there.

Still being a virgin sex means, quite literally, everything to me – of course it doesn’t mean literally everything to me, I just wanted to say quite literally, makes me sound less dumb. It’s the one hump I haven’t concurred yet. Notice how I used hump. Good, huh? Not really. Also there are many humps I haven’t accomplished in life. But because I haven’t had sex I don’t know what it means to me. I could easily do away with it and have it mean nothing. I could have sex with anyone – definitely not literally – and not place any emphasis on its personal importance to me. Or I could save myself for one girl, and spend my entire life only sleeping with her, and forever wonder, “Are all vaginas that big, or is it just hers?” I imagine for the guys who have only slept with one girl the most pressing issue is never knowing what other vaginas feel like, and seeing as for some reason I’m not knowing of I’m now convinced all vaginas are designed for penises larger than the average penis as a way to further emasculate men with smaller than large cocks, such as myself, therefore in most occasions the man would assume the girl he is with must have a large vagina, rather than assume that his penis is just small.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Seeing as women make it pretty damn easy for me not to have sex I think I’m just gonna keep doing that. There are times, especially within the past six months, where I have thought, “Fuck it all, I’m tired of wanting to be in love, I just want to fuck.” I don’t know why it has to be one or the other. Just because I’m tired of never getting the girl doesn’t mean I have to go out and fuck every other girl. I’m pretty aware that wouldn’t take away the pain/loneliness. Although I’ve never had sex, so I’m pretty unfit to make that assumption. It’s stupid anyway because I know I’ll never be an emotionless fucking drone. In this moment I’m very confident that every person I have sex with, hell every time I have sex, it will be very meaningful to me. I think I’m a girl in that way. Not that every girl brings meaning to most of their sexual encounters. I assume on average they do more than men. It’s not a bad thing. It’s not a good thing. As I often say, it’s just a thing. I think every person I have sex with in my life I will care about a lot. Hopefully that’s not too many people. Not because I don’t want to have sex with a bunch of girls. I just don’t want to have to care about a bunch of girls. I’m kidding. I’m not really kidding though. I do care about a lot of girls right now. As wonderful as they all are I really just want to care about one.


About Danniel

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