It is bedtime, and these are my thoughts.
I have an endless supply of porn – meaning I have a computer and internet connection, not that my family owns a portion of a pornography company – I shouldn’t be allowed to complain about anything. There are starving kids all around the world with absolutely no pornography to help them masturbate. When it’s put that way you realize just how depressing the world can be.
My friend recently had sex with a teacher in the back of her car. He said if she put as much effort into teaching as she does with fucking our students would be in much better shape. None of that is true at all. Well my friend did have sex with a teacher recently, which is actually the hardest part of that to believe. Apparently as of late he’s been doing better with woman because he’s been able to channel his inner douche. He keeps telling me that’s what I need to do, and I keep telling him I’m perfectly happy with being a virgin, besides the whole not having sex thing, but other than that it’s just peachy.
I was in the bathroom not too long ago thinking about sex while brushing my teeth, for it’s a very sexual process what with all the in and out motions of the phallic toothbrush into the mouth. Not necessarily the metaphorical sex I’m into, but nonetheless sexual in spirit. You think the foam building up in your mouth is from the toothpaste? Nope, that’s your teeth jizzing (was this originally going somewhere?) I can’t promise that it was, but it might have been.
I fell asleep and now I woke up so this isn’t really bedtime thoughts anymore, but I didn’t want the lasting image of this piece to be jizzing teeth. On second thought…