#28 Open Eyes by The Early November
Before I even get into the song I just wanted to say that peaches are by far better than pears, and it’s not even close. There was a time in my life when I used to prefer pears, and now I look back on that time like baseball fans look back at the Mark McGwire Sammy Sosa homerun race. Sure it was fun, and we had some good times, but they were tainted, tainted by the tainters that are steroids. Although if you really think about it, and I beg of you not to, my peaches and pears scenario is nothing like the baseball and steroids analogy I just made. I should regret making it, but I don’t.
98 was the year of the homerun race I believe, and it’s when my eyes as an eleven year old were really opened towards baseball. Like how I smoothly alluded to the song in that sentence? (It’d be nice if maybe the song were actually talked about.) Before that I had my teams, the Seattle Mariners because they were close, the Florida Marlins because I had randomly picked them to win the World series against the Cleveland Indians in my earliest memories of really watching baseball, and the Atlanta Braves for reasons I’m not sure of but possibly because my family almost moved there when I was ten, but until the Mcgwire Sosa homerun race – in which my side lost because I immediately drifted towards Sosa because I hated Whitey – I never had a vested interest in Baseball. There was never anything exciting about it. But now these two athletes were gunning for history. Yep, gunning those steroids straight into their tushies.
I know none of you care about baseball, and oddly that only pushes me to continue talking about it now despite the fact that I don’t really care about baseball other than paying attention every so often. It truly is a boring sport to watch, but to play, well to play some might argue it’s even more boring, but I really enjoy it, and I’m glad I got to play some baseball the other day with some friends. It was only halfway through the first sentence of this paragraph that I realized I was talking about baseball and that I had played baseball for the first times in years yesterday. Is it a coincidence that my looking back to once liking pears more than peaches led to a horrible baseball analogy? I’d like to think it is. But I love coincidences.
We played four on four baseball, which is five players per team less than is supposed to be played, but we wanted to play, so that’s what we did. If you’ve watched baseball you’ve noticed that most of the time other than the pitcher, catcher and whoever is at bat all the other players spend more than 90% of their time just watching and waiting. There’s something to that waiting though. Maybe all that waiting makes it all the more enjoyable when action finally does happen. I’d argue that’s certainly not the case when watching baseball, but it might have some validity when playing. I’ve never been bored of playing baseball even though most of the time I spent playing was waiting for the ball to come my way, which it rarely does. Despite constantly being thought of as gay I get very few balls coming my way.
Now baseball has even bored me out of talking about it, so whats say we talk about this song?
This is a happy song, particularly happy when compared with most of the other songs on my list. The reason for that is because I spend much of my time sad, so I just relate to sad songs better. Also most of my music listening is done by myself, which is when most of my being sad is done. I don’t think I give off a jovial look, or possibly even a vibe, if you believe in that kind of stuff, but a good portion of the time when out with friends or playing sports or doing whatever with people I’m in good spirits, or at least a lot better spirits than when with myself.
Maybe I should listen to more music when with other people? Perhaps then I could get into some Katy Perry. Oh my Lord would I love to get into Katy Perry. Actually not really. I mean I am sexually attracted to her, but her being with Russell Brand is very unappealing. Of course because I don’t like Russell Brand, but also I generally don’t want to sleep with girls who are already involved with a guy. Shouldn’t that be taken into account when being asked hypothetically if someone would sleep with another person? (Good job of talking about the song so far.)
Would I hypothetically sleep with Scarlett Johansson? I have no idea. She is one of the few girls who I would whore myself out to. I give myself a couple of those, where I don’t care about getting to know them or how much I really like them, I’d just be able to have sex with them on the spot. Admittedly I’m not too fond of that. I’d like to think that no matter what I wouldn’t fuck some chick just to fuck her. I don’t know why I’d like to think that. Even though sex is just sex or whatever in true narcissistic fashion I try to think I’m above the temptation – narcissistic in the sense that I think most people can’t beat the temptation and therefore I’m better than most people, even though I could name 1,000 reasons off the top of my head this second why I’m better than almost no one. Because I concede myself to being able to have sex with a couple of girls I don’t know I also must concede that women should have this without the often tagged along slut term. So even though I am sad because she would no doubt have wild unbelievably hot sex with Ryan Reynolds, I can not get too upset because I would no doubt have unbelievably half hot half hideous sex with Scarlett Johansson, maybe.
I say maybe because the only reason I brought this up was because of needing to think about whether that person is in a relationship when pondering the hypothetical question of would you do her. For Scarlett Johansson I don’t know the answer. She was with the aforementioned Ryan Reynolds – who is currently spending all his time in the naughty fantasies of the girl I oh so desperately want to be with at this very moment – and then I guess she was with Sean Penn because she wanted some old, rugged, faux(?) activist penis, and then now she’s apparently doing some things with Justin Timberlake, who is slowly but surely banging his way through some incredible Hollywood hotties, and although I’m usually extremely jealous of him I think about his roles in Bad Teacher, Yogi Bear, The Love Guru and the upcoming Friends With Benefits, and all of the sudden I’m not so jealous of him (The Social Network) Damn you Justin Timberlake!