#36 “I’ve Got Ants In My Pants Unless It’s You In Them Instead”

#36 Ants In My Pants by Say Anything

“Stress can breed a psychopath, you’re all that calms me down. I forget that I’m a mess when you’re around.”

            I remember when me and her would have our thing I would always be so stressed out during the day. I would never be able to focus. I’d just be thinking about her. It was a real problem. Well if things were going really good I would be at ease and able to focus on productive tasks. But usually my mind had a way of never letting me think things were going good. We would usually talk at night, and things would be better. One of the many things she had that other girls didn’t is that whenever we talked I always felt better. Even when we were arguing it felt better than not talking to her, which is odd I suppose. I’m sure at times she thought I was a complete mess, and that would certainly be an apt assessment for her to have made, but ultimately when talking with her I was always at peace. There was a comfort with her that I haven’t felt with anyone else. Yeah, sure she’s unbelievably beautiful. And she’s so smart that it makes her beauty even more unbelievable. And her quick wit puts me to shame. And she’s ever so fucking sweet. But there are a lot of beautiful girls in this world, and smart girls and funny girls and sweet girls, and I know girls that are amazing, just freaking amazing, it’s incredible how many amazing girls I know. When I got out of high school I never thought I’d meet any and now I think I know more than I can count on my fingers. The thing that’s tough is the feeling she gave me inside. The peace my metaphorical soul was at when talking with her. How I never doubted that she was the one for me. I’m not spiritual, although I don’t deny that I know little about the universe and it’s incredibly mysterious ways, but there was some kind of special connection between us. I don’t know how special, but it felt incredibly special to me. That kind of scares me.

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About Danniel

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One Response to #36 “I’ve Got Ants In My Pants Unless It’s You In Them Instead”

  1. Emily says:

    That’s exactly the way my ex and I felt about each other until he started trying to control my life. I feel like that sort of obsessive love is only fun for a little while – you know? So even though it sucks that she just stopped talking to you for no reason, maybe it’s for the better, so you can look back on things with that kind of positive attitude towards what you had…

    I don’t know. Just musing.

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