#44 I Want More Anneliese Van Der Pol

#44 The Great Awakening by Say Anything

I really enjoy the concept of this song. That the lullaby is designed to wake the person up so they can spend more time together. It’s like why would I want to help her fall asleep? I mean sure people need sleep and if she doesn’t get enough sleep she’ll probably be very groggy in the morning. But if she goes to sleep that means I have to go quietly jerk myself off in the closet. The least she can do is meet me halfway and jerk me off while she waits for her ambien to kick in. I assume this is what was going through Max Bemis’s head when he wrote the song.

As I sit here, well half sitting half lying, wondering where to go with this, tossing nerds in my mouth three at a time, I realize I have started this sentence with no idea of how to finish it, but I assume I’ll put a period at the end of it; I mixed things up!

Now that's a sideboob Peter Griffin can appreciate.

Back on the subject of sleep, I do it too much. Sleeping a lot sounds like a good thing, but it’s horrible. I miss out on so much of life. Like what the hell goes on before noon? I’m still totally confused on that. People will get up of their own accord and actually accomplish things before noon? I thought that getting up early stuff ended after school. Unless we’re talking about getting up for Saturday morning cartoons of course.

Do they still have Saturday morning cartoons? Whenever I tune in, for the brief moments I’m awake before noon before quickly going back to sleep, I always see Zack and that Cody dude or That’s So Raven getting into her future seeing mischief. A couple things about that show. I was always attracted to the red headed chick for some reason. Probably because that show was on during the time when I was extremely into red heads. I want some foresight credit for that because no one would listen to me back then and now every one of my male friends seems to be into red heads. Also did anybody else notice that as Raven gained weight the red headed friend lost weight? Was this coincidental or some kind of optical illusion? Also did anybody else notice that since that movie where Martin Lawrence played her father and drove her to college she’s never been in anything else, yet for some reason Martin Lawrence gets to be in another Big Mama’s movie?

I’d be a lot lazier in the trying to change the future thing than Raven was. For one every time she saw something bad happen in the future she would try to change only to learn at the end of the episode that what she saw wasn’t really that bad, it just looked bad in and of itself, but when taken in context it wasn’t that bad, and usually it was actually good. After about five times of going through that I’d be like, “Fuck you future seeing powers. If you’re gonna keep tricking me like that I’m just going to grab a bag cheesy puffs and watch some classic Newsradio. I don’t care if you show me O.J. Simpson bending my father over a chair and pulling his pants down, I am not moving my ass from this coach, and it’s not just because I wouldn’t really care if that happened to my dad.”

Brenda Song reminds me of why I loved Asian girls so much when I was younger.

But seriously, do they still show cartoons that often on Saturday morning? I’m sure to most of us my age we all revered watching those terribly horrible shows. Holy Christ, sometimes I see clips of them and they are oh so crappy. I know The Power Rangers wasn’t exactly a cartoon, but if I was forced to watch that crap nowadays…I totally would because it would be so fun to make fun of. I don’t think these shows are that horrible. Well at least the ones aimed for preteens. Maybe the ones for little kids suck major balls, but they’re little kids, they don’t care. But shows like the aforementioned Zach and Cody aren’t horrible. Not too mention a young Ashley Tisdale and Brenda Song aren’t too shabby for the boys to look at while they experiment once their balls drop (writing that was kind of very creepy). They’re both bonafide hotties now. I’ve had a pretty big crush on Ashley Tisdale for a while now and Brenda Song was looking good in the Facebook movie (The Social Network) even though her character was batshit crazy, which is actually a turn on, which is something I’m not proud to admit, which makes me wonder why I just admitted it.


About Danniel

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One Response to #44 I Want More Anneliese Van Der Pol

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