#83 Water’s Edge by 1997

I first came across this song and this band when hearing the song on a sampler CD my brother gave me. Over the years my older brother has given me lots and lots of sampler CDs and demos and I think out of the nonillions of songs I’ve heard I’ve only liked 3 of them. That’s an exaggeration. I’ve liked a dozen probably, but their being a nonillion songs is accurate. Later I again came across this song when Chris put it on a mix CD, back before I had the interweb in my room and the only way I got new songs was by Chris making me mix CDs. I put that to a stop when he gave me a CD with nothing but Celine Deion love songs. Turns out it was an honest mistake, and the CD was really for his mother.

There are two things I want to talk about concerning this band. One is that the name 1997 is a horrible name for a band. And until I hear a good reasoning for them choosing that name I will continue to hate it with the same passion I hate the actual year 1997. That was the year Jenny Slate refused to 1) go to prom with me and 2) give me a handy in the theatre during Saving Private Ryan. Okay, there are a few things wrong with that. And whoever can name all of them will win a special prize. (You don’t know a Jenny Slate, other than the one on SNL who you’ve never met, and also in 1997 you were in the third grade, therefore you had no prom, and lastly Saving Private Ryan came out in 1998, not 1997, so no one could have given you a hand job during that movie in 1997, nor would they want to, ever) I was kidding about the special prize.

The other thing I wanted to talk about is that over the three albums released by the band 1997 they have had three different female vocalists. I don’t know why the female vocalists keep leaving the band, and I refuse to do research, so I am left with one choice. One of the band members must keep trying to fuck them. This is why I’m against having females in bands. I don’t want to keep having to find a hot chick who can play bass every time someone declines to fuck me. Also I would have to kick the girl out of the band if she was fucking the other band members, or any groupies, or her boyfriend, or really just anyone or anything that isn’t me.

I kid of course, but it would be difficult to do anything with a person who I have a sexual attraction to. I couldn’t play in the WNBA because after five minutes of practice I’d yell, “I think we’ve done enough today, let’s hit the showers.” Well, I’d say that assuming they were actually attractive – not really the girl on girl action I want. Also I couldn’t play in the WNBA because I have a penis, but it’s not a big one so I could hide it easily, and also I’m pretty sure about 90% of the league is still more manly than me anyway. I actually used to watch the WNBA quite often when Portland had a team. I’ve probably watched more WNBA than 99% of men on this planet. In fact of all the things I’ve watched I’m betting it has the lowest women on screen to times masturbated ratio. One last thing about the WNBA. Does the WNBA still exist?

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About Danniel

http://closertoclarity.com/
This entry was posted in The Music List and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to #83 Water’s Edge by 1997

  1. stop motion says:

    Great! you are right bro, cause it’s really wonderful song. i liked it soo much. thank you for post

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