If My Hands Were A Million Penises I Guess I’d Wash Them

I advocate the use of urinal divides at every urinal. I don’t want to see some guy’s penis, especially while he’s peeing, but even more especially when he’s holding it to aim better while he’s peeing, because then it’s way to close too much like masturbating; he’s got his hand on his penis and stuff is coming out. I usually don’t leave my hand on the penis, the my penis to be precise, when urinating anywhere, even a coke bottle in the back of my grandma’s dodge caravan last Thanksgiving, but it’s not for the excuse of not having to wash my hands, which I’ve seen used many times before. I’m sure this is news to no one, and a fellow blogger wrote about this not too long ago, but not very many guys wash their hands when using the bathroom. Hell, I’ve seen guys come out of stalls without washing their hands, and we all no what guys do in the stalls; blow each other. Although poop is also an acceptable answer.

I don’t care about germs, I just don’t, but that doesn’t mean I won’t wash my hands. I don’t do it for my own benefit. I touch my penis, whether for pleasure or whatever, like 90 times a day. Do you really think I care that much if I’ve got penis on my hands? No, in fact I love penis on my hands. Not really, I just wanted to have that said somewhere so someone could take it out of context and try and prove that I’m gay. But either way I don’t mind having touched my own penis, and I don’t even mind having touched my penis, then touched the urinal flusher that has been touched by thousands of hands who have touched their own penis, and then touch my penis again and then not washing my hands. Wouldn’t bother me in the least bit. But I do respect that other people don’t want to be touching my hand after it’s essentially touched millions of penises, many of which probably have some kind of STD. So I don’t wash my hands for me, I wash my hands for other people, and really that’s why people should wash their hands, out of respect for their common man, or women, who deserve less respect but still enough to shake a clean hand, just as long as they don’t make eye contact. I’m kidding. You guys all know I love women. I’ve single handedly put 6 different women through college which they paid for using a pile of dollar bills.


About Danniel

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One Response to If My Hands Were A Million Penises I Guess I’d Wash Them


    Danniel…Thanx for the trackback/pingback. 😉

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