89: My Name Is Jonas by Weezer

Weezer is one of those bands. (One of those bands that what?) I don’t know, that’s all I’ve come up with so far. (Spectacular.)

There was a time when I was in love with the Blue Album by Weezer, but that was pretty much the extent of Weezer I partook in. If I had done this list back in high school, before the likes of Say Anything corrupted my musical inclinations with their brilliance, I wouldn’t doubt if also on my top 101 list the songs Only In Dreams, Say It Ain’t So, Undone – The Sweater Song, and The World Has Turned and Left Me Here from the Blue Album made the list. Before I owned the CD I would barrow it from my brother and listen to the whole album over and over again never skipping a song. It was one of the few albums I could ever do that with. Usually there’s always a few songs here and there I’ll skip over, but the Blue Album was solid.

My tastes over the years have changed, and I can’t remember the last time I listened to the complete Blue Album. It’s still a solid album, and many of the songs are still on my ipizzle for shizzle my the N-wordizzle. That’s how they say ipod at catholic high schools. If you told me to name my favorite bands I think I would go on forever before I named Weezer. Yes I loved the Blue Album and the Green Album was so-so, but I’m generally not a big fan of their work. I never really figured out why I liked the Blue Album so much but not their other stuff. Is it because my favorite color is blue? Let’s go with yes and end it at that.

I always here people mention how they wish they would spend less time on things like Facebook and Twitter and go out in the real world more and get something out of life. I think that sounds good on the outside, but I’d like to reevaluate all this social media stuff before we declare it a bad thing. After all many people said television was rotting the minds of our youth. Partly true, but something I found ironic considering there weren’t many classes in high school I had where the teacher didn’t roll in a TV and play us something from the History Channel, or PBS or some other informational video. Perhaps it’s because teachers are relying on videos to teach that our schools are so bad? I doubt that. I would say it has more to do with the parents.

Kids generally don’t like school. They’d much rather go out and play, or I guess stay in and play video games, or with their penises, or go to the mall and shop, or fill condoms up with mustard and throw them at cars on the freeway from the overpass, not that I’ve ever done that. Seriously though, I’ve never done that. That’s fucking disgusting and if you have done that you should be ashamed of yourself and to make amends you should allow someone to throw a condom full of mustard directly at your face. So we all know kids don’t want to go to school, but it’s up to their parents to force them to go to school and work hard by any means necessarily short of physical, and possibly psychological, abuse. And I’m lenient on the physical abuse. If you want to hit a kid with a sock full of oranges then of course you can’t do that! But if you want to hit a kid with a sock full of fluff and love I’m all for it. Seriously though, if my mother had come in my room and started hitting me with a sock it wouldn’t have been painful at all and I would have been annoyed to the point that I would have gone to school.

But that’s not really what I came here to talk about. The point I was making is that people thought TV was bad, but many teachers, including college professors use television shows to educate their students. They even use the internet by finding educational clips, mostly not porn related, to show the students. Yale even has a Youtube channel so dumb fucks like me can watch a lecture from a 10,000 dollar class. Without a doubt the internet and television have good and bad sides to them, but what about sites like facebook?

People keep talking about how these social networking sites are pulling us away from the people in our lives. I can only speak for myself – and by doing that I think it’s implicit that I’m speaking for the whole world – but for me social networking sites have brought me closer to people. I’ve talked to people on myspace and facebook from my high school that I never talked to in high school. Sure, it would have been great to have met them out in the real world and struck up a conversation, but it’s much more conventional and time saving to do it from the computer.

My mother has a job and a daughter in high school – not me in case you were wondering – and she never had time to go out to lunch with her friends and stuff like that, but now with facebook she can chat with multiple friends at once. This is a miracle. The real world is great, but my mother couldn’t talk to her friend in South America in the real life. Well, unless she went to South America. Or she used the phone. Remember phones? They used to be household devices and then they became wireless and slowly transitioned into small internet browsing machines whose least important quality seems to be its ability to allow you to speak to a person thousands of miles away from you.

The ability to chat with people has to be the internet’s biggest quality that relates to being a part of the real world. I think this shouldn’t be frown upon and not thought of as not getting out and doing things. I’ve talked to a person in Egypt. Egypt for Christ’s Sake. That’s where those fucking pyramids are. Sure it’d be nice to actually go and see the pyramids, but it was also great to talk to a person from Egypt and get their take on America – the particular person I talked to said we have a better sense of humor than the Brits, then I showed her the Blue Comedy Tour and she jumped off the Sphinx.

I’ve talked to people all over Asia, people in Australia, People in Africa, also people in places that don’t start with A. I’ve talked to three different people in Romania. I didn’t even know Romania had more than three people, or even existed in the first place. Sounds like it should be located in the Northeast side of Narnia. Now some nerd is going to read this and complain that the Romanians can’t live in the Northeast side because that’s where the Elves live and historically Elves and Romanians don’t get along. Well tough luck, they can battle it out and the loser can move to Hogwarts.

My overall point of this is that chatting with people on the internet can be very informative. And even the ability of things like facebook to keep us acquainted with those in our lives who would otherwise be thought of as tertiary, and also it’s ability to give people a few minutes here and there in their busy lives to leave little comments for their friends, shouldn’t be overlooked. I think we often forget that we give meaning to things. The internet can only be thought of as a waste of time if you’re using it to waste time. So go ahead and forget the power it holds if you want to. Go ahead and use it solely for porn, or telling chicks they look hot and posting a link to the song You’re Beautiful by that douche James Blunt because you think it’s clever and will get you in their pants. Guess what, it’s not clever! But it might actually get you in their pants. But while people are wasting their time and taking this magical ability the internet grants us for granted I’ll be  talking to a person from Afghanistan and learning about their culture and how they view America. And if all goes well I think she might send me some nude pictures.


About Danniel

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