#90 3685 by The Spill Canvas

Funny story that just took place seconds before I typed this. I haven’t figured out where each song on this list will be placed yet, so each time I pick what the next song is I look at the twenty songs currently ranked lowest and try and figure out which one should go next. Well the currently lowest ranked song was this one, but I like it a lot, so I was going to save it for at least a few more spots, but then randomly on my ipod this song came on, and since I don’t believe in signs I decided to annoy myself and pretend it was a sign directly from none other than God, who is a big The Spill Canvas fan (even though he gave you a sign that made them appear lower on the list than if he hadn’t given you a sign at all?) He couldn’t wait to hear my take on the song.

This is one of those songs that is better if you don’t look too closely at the lyrics and try to find a story within. I say this because at the beginning he clearly takes blame for the relationship not working,

“My emptry promises led to our demise. And I could never tell you how I really feel. And for that I eternally apologize.”

Okay, can we all just agree when in relationships that we’ll tell each other exactly how we really feel? Because it’s really annoying to have to guess what’s going through one’s mind, especially when they tell you it’s the opposite of what it really is. This is why I always make it a point to do the exact opposite of what girls tell me, because I know that’s really what they want. So when I’m in the sack going down on a girl and she’s moaning telling me it feels great and not to stop, I know she’s lying, so I quickly make my way to her feet and start licking her toes, spreading on a little mustard to spice things up first of course. And when she says, “ew, that’s disgusting, what the hell are you doing? Stop immediately.” I know I’m doing everything exactly to her liking. Sometimes I amaze myself with just how much of a ladies man I am.

“I hope you never forget the tapping at your window. With the harsh cold and the jealousy running through my bones. We were both selfish, but I think I was more.”

He’s even claiming to be the more selfish of the two. That sounds like he’s taking the responsibility of ruining the relationship. I blame the jealousy running through his bones. That sounds unpleasant too. My jealously runs through my veins, and that’s uncomfortable enough. I couldn’t imagine having anything, especially something so messy as jealously, running through my bones. I need to get that jealously out of my veins. I claim it’s not jealously, just rational thinking. Why would a girl be with me when there’s fifty million and eighteen guys at least twenty times better than me? Some times I’ll write my girlfriend a 30 page thesis detailing just how much of an improvement she could be making on her life by dating someone else. And on special occasions I even set her up on a few blind dates with specially selected men I deem worthy enough of her precious time. I realize I may lose her, but hey, if I really love her I’m going to do what’s best for her. And I’m pretty confident I can’t be what’s best for anyone. Except maybe Scarlett Johansson.

“I would like to thank you for showing me a part of myself that I have never seen. Yeah, I was young and dumb, but it still was fun. I’m forever indebted to you. I hope you feel the same”

He’s forever indebted to her! He’s clearly taking all the blame. All of it. It’s not even close. I almost feel bad for this girl now. But at the same time I’m happy for her because she clearly was in a relationship with a guy who didn’t deserve her. And this is what makes the final lyrics of the song not so meaningful.

“You seem like such a big part of my life and my heart. But the truth is that I’ve found something new, and she easily towers over you.”

Holy mother of God, Batman. He just totally flip flopped on everything he said and slapped a garden hoe. Earlier in the song he was taking the blame and now he’s shoving it in her face letting her know just how much better his new girl is than her. Wow, completely tactless. Nope, not one iota of tact to be found.

Here are my options to believe in. A) the guy is a douche and was setting his ex girlfriend up with the earlier self blaming lyrics just so it would be even more unexpected and much more impactful when he tells her just how much better his new girlfriend is. B) I’ve got nothing for B. I’m pretty much resigned to believing in A. But nonetheless, I’m going to go ahead and still enjoy the end of the song, and continue to let it stay in my pantheon of songs I’ll use to get over a girl.  Unfortunately with this song it’s kind of more meaningful if I find a girl to help me get over the previous girl. I don’t know if you folks at home are keeping count, but that involves two girls. I’m having enough trouble finding one girl. If I get two girls in my lifetime Satan can go ahead and put ‘snowman making’ on the brochure for hell.


About Danniel

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