I AM GOING TO CRUSH THE MOON

If you want to hear me read the story or hear me talk about the story click on the link and you shall be taken to a magical world filled with nasally drones.

link to nasally drones

The Story begins now… (p.s. that was not part of the story)

“So did you hear the news today, Karl?” Murphy said

“Yep, that’s why I’m here.”

“Thought so,” Murphy said taking a seat on a rock facing towards the lake. “You always come here to think.”

“I’m not thinking today.”

“Just staring?”

“Just staring.”

“Well staring is good too.”

“Ignorance is bliss they say.”

“They don’t say that anymore,” Murphy said. “Remember they outlawed it two years ago because it gave being dumb a better image. All those kids dropped out of school citing knowledge as the leading cause of depression. Remember all those college professors who got sued? Philosophy courses were banned across the nation for almost a decade. During Richard Dawkins visit to South Carolina he was hijacked and burned at the stake. Then they burned his corpse again for good measure. But I guess that’s what you get in return for disproving God. To be honest I would have been a lot happier if I still believed in God.”

“I bet Newton couldn’t sleep at night.”

“I blame him for this.”

“Why? He didn’t invent gravity. He just discovered it.”

“What, you didn’t hear?” Murphy said. “As of last week it’s now official that Isaac Newton invented gravity. There are some who say he did it for the sole purpose of getting his name etched in history and forever being known as the man who made the moon fall to the Earth.”

“What if we’re falling towards it?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, that wouldn’t make any sense. The Earth is perfectly happy. It doesn’t need, nor want, the moon. The moon is the one who’s lonely.” Murphy skipped a rock into the lake. “The Earth is filled with animals, plants, oxygen, dirt, hell even people. The moon has nothing.”

“It’s got rocks.”

“Rocks are nothing. They don’t keep good company. They’re almost as bad as Antarctican’s.”

“That’s racist.”

“Well fuck them, they need to keep their damn mouths shut and mind their own business.” He threw another rock into the lake. He sent a good dose of anger to keep it company. “I liked it better before we found out they existed.”

“Arabelia has Antarctic roots.”

“With a name like that I’m not surprised. She was never good for you. She can fuck off.”

“The trees are blowing pretty hard today.”

“Nah, fuck the trees, the lake is where it’s at,” Murphy said getting up. “Bye Karl.”

“Bye Murphy,” I said still looking towards the trees.

Two weeks later I sat on my rock staring at my trees as they blew in the wind when Murphy arrived. I didn’t see what he was wearing or if he had finally cut his hair like he had been promising to do for the past two months, but based on the sound of his chewing throughout our conversation and the crinkling of a thin foil-like bag I’m pretty sure he was eating chips.

“So did you here the news today, Karl?” Murphy said.

“Yep, that’s why I’m here.”

“Thought so,” Murphy said taking a seat on his rock looking towards his lake. “You always come here to think.”

“I’m not thinking today.”

“Just staring?”

“Just staring.”

“Well you can stare all you want, but we’ve only got about a year until they say it lands on us, just enough time for everyone to go crazy again.”

“Give a sane man a minute and he’ll go crazy with 45 seconds to spare.”

“Amen to that,” Murphy said. “They still aren’t sure where it’s going to land.”

“Crazy, they can put a man on the moon but they can’t figure out where it’s going to land.”

“Didn’t they teach you in school that all the moon landings were a hoax?”

“I was making a joke. People used to complain about us being able to put people on the moon but not being able to do what seems like much simpler stuff. Like perfectly toasting bread without it burning.”

“I know the origin of the saying. I didn’t find your joke funny. Remember in 2012 when Sarah Palin was running for president and to gain publicity Fox broadcasted her going to the moon and while walking on the moon she tripped on a chord and knocked down the back drop.”

“I can’t believe she still won.”

“I think it was her Playboy spread that gained her the independents. They’re all perverts.” Murphy took a bite of what I firmly believe was a chip. “Barack’s Playgirl spread was much more impressive than his presidency but boobs will always hold more power than a penis no matter what size.”

“At least he didn’t blow up Antarctica.”

“They had it coming.”

“Arabelia cried for weeks.”

“Her tears alone were worth it.”

“Hawaii is under water now.”

“Makes for a great snorkeling trip,” Murphy said.

“Half of Australia’s population was wiped out.”

“Small scientific miscalculation,” Murphy said. “They weren’t supposed to be harmed.”

Murphy pretends not to care about people dying but I know he does. If I were ever to die he’d cry for a century. He loves me. That’s why he hates Arabelia. She hurt me. He wants to be the only one that hurts me. That’s what love is now. They changed the definition when Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt overthrew the British government and become the King and Queen of New America 2, the second New America since New America 1, formerly known as the Middle East. I’m not sure what relevance this has to do with love but the government tells me it’s pertinent, and nowadays the people listen to the government. I don’t listen to the government. According to the Government Arabelia loves me but I don’t love her. That’s total bullshit.

“You’re quiet,” Murphy begun, “what are you thinking about?”

“The trees are blowing pretty hard today.”

“Nah, fuck the trees, the lake is where it’s at,” Murphy said getting up. “Bye Karl.”

“Bye Murphy,” I said still looking at the trees, and thinking.

It was two weeks later and I was staring at a hawk perched upon one of my favorite trees way off in the distance, further than many closer trees that I had denied the privilege of being one of my favorite trees. There isn’t anything special about the tree. In fact for the first three weeks I got it confused with the other trees around it. There’s a high probability it’s not even the same tree I originally designated as one of my favorites. I started the paragraph with the intentions of talking about the hawk and ended up talking about the tree. On second thought I don’t even think it was a hawk.

“So did you hear the news today?” Murphy said.

“Yep, that’s why I’m here.”

“Thought so,” Murphy said already sitting on his rock with his lake in view. “You always come here to think.”

“I haven’t thought in years.”

“Just staring?”

“I haven’t seen her in years.”

“You’re going to go see her aren’t you?”

He knew I was going to see her. In eleven months the moon was going to land on me. Well I can’t be so arrogant to think it specifically picked out me. But I can’t be so naïve to think it’s not possible. They determined the Moon was going to land exactly over this lake and crush the nearby city, but I’m not worried about that. I’m more worried about my trees.

“Yes, I’m probably going to see her.”

“Don’t,” Murphy begun, “come with me? I have a cousin who lives up in Canada. I’m going to stay with her. You should come too.”

“You know I can’t.” I don’t know if he was looking at me but I damn sure wasn’t looking at him. “I love Arabelia, not you.” I could hear a rock go flying into the lake.

“What do I have to do to make you love me? Tell me. I’ll do it. I’m bringing the God damn moon to the Earth for you.”

“I’m still not convinced it isn’t the Earth falling on the moon.”

“Don’t be crazy. You can’t tell me I’m not pulling the moon to the Earth.”

“No, conventional wisdom tells me I can’t. But you know me well enough to know I don’t always follow conventional wisdom.”

“Why don’t you love me?” Murphy said.

“The trees are blowing pretty hard today.”

“Nah, fuck the trees, the lake is where it’s at,” Murphy said with sadness in his voice and perhaps a tear running down his face. “Bye Karl.”

“Probably,” I said.

“What the fuck are you doing, Karl?” Murphy said ten months later.

“I’m sitting, staring at the lake, thinking about everything and much more. I’ve never really looked at the lake before. It’s actually beautiful. I think I could have learned to love it more than even the trees. Right here behind me the whole time yet I never acknowledged it. What a fool I am.”

“I hope that’s not a metaphor?”

“It was an accidental metaphor.”

“Things didn’t work out with Arabelia?”

“Things certainly did not. She’s married with a kid. Beautiful little girl named Addelyn, got her father’s smile. I met the man. More of a man than I’ll ever be. Works for the Government, so of course he’s got a sense of humor. Treats her real nice, big house, nice car, and all that good stuff. She’s really happy. I’m happy for her. But I hate it too. I don’t know how to feel.”

“I met someone in Canada.” Murphy was looking me in the eyes for the first time in what conventional wisdom tells me is forever. “Her name is Andreane. She’s German Canadian. She was part of Hitler the third’s guerilla force that overthrew the corrupted French Canadian government. I live with her in Quebec, Montreal to be specific. It’s wonderful there. I’m really happy. It doesn’t smell great but at least the moon isn’t falling on it. ”

He was lying at this point. I didn’t care. I would let him get away with the lie. If I wanted him to he would stay here with me and be crushed by the moon. He’d find it romantic. I wouldn’t. I still don’t love him.

“I don’t love you.”

“I finally realize why,” he said, I suspect lying. “There’s pain in those eyes of yours. There’s love too but I can see it’s not for me. You’re still welcome to come with me back to Canada.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“I know,” Murphy said, “but I can always ask.”

“Not in a month. In a month all the questions will be gone, or as close to it as possible.”

“So you’re going to die, and forever be nothing.”

“Forever includes the past, so I won’t be forever nothing,” I said it louder than I expected. “Arabelia told me you should believe in God again. And that there’s a reason ignorance is so pleasing. And that it was wrong for the Antarcticans to unleash the truth upon the world.”

It’s true that she told me all this. I’m not sure if she meant it though. She lied to me a lot. She was always so much smarter than me so she always knew it was better to lie. I always told the truth. It was stupid of me.

“She’s a liar,” Murphy said.

“Yeah, we both know that. But it still doesn’t change anything.”

“Yep,” Murphy sighed. “The trees are blowing pretty hard today.”

“Yeah, I know, but I think I should spend some times staring at the lake.”

Murphy slowly walked away not looking back once. I don’t know what happened to him. I assume I’m never going to see him again. If there’s no heaven, which has been proven, and if there’s no hell, which is still heavily contested, then I can only assume if all goes as planned that I’m never going to see him again. But conventional wisdom tells us that the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray. Or was that Robert Burns? Either way he was an Antarctican.

Today is the day of the historic moon landing, but this one is not a hoax. The sky has been pitch black for days now. There are not many people left in the city or anywhere around it. My neighbor is an old lady. She will not leave. She’s lived in her house for 84 years and by golly she’ll die in that house. There is a homeless man who has made a home of the supermarket down the street from me where I go to get my food. He is a nice man. He pretends to be the cashier when I am there and I give him money and he rips it up and we laugh because we both know money is no longer good to us, just like it was a few years back when the 46th president declared the new currency to be seashells, because after all a sand dollar is prettier than a paper dollar. California finally bought themselves out of debt, but immediately returned to it after Caligula Jr., as we called him because he looked just like Caligula and not at all because he was crazy, was impeached on the grounds of being crazy and a detriment to our government. He was replaced by who we call Abraham Lincoln Jr., whose nickname was given with the same theory behind it as to why so many fat men are called tiny. Those few years sent the Civil Rights movement back a long way.

But look at me going on and on about nothing. It’s funny how one can find so many things to talk about when death is upon him.

I’m going to lie under the moon now. I don’t know why but I’m at ease. I often thought the moon was the loneliest place in the universe. There are galaxies without beings for many light years.  But they are ignorant. They do not know what they are missing. The moon had to spend its whole existence staring at life develop on Earth but could never partake in the fun. The moon has been taunted for almost ever, but no longer. I shall save it from loneliness and it shall save me.

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About Danniel

http://closertoclarity.com/
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6 Responses to I AM GOING TO CRUSH THE MOON

  1. lianamerlo says:

    I ❤ your crap!

    “I think it was her Playboy spread that gained her the independents. They’re all perverts.”

    That was my favorite line, maybe because I am one. But this whole piece was a joy to read.

    Please add the widgit that offers the feature to subscribe to your blog. I'd like to be a stalker and get emails when you post.

    • Danniel says:

      I’ll see what I can do about the widgit. I’m not very internet savvy so it my take me a couple of months to figure it out.

      And I’m glad you enjoyed the read. I was extremely worried about this story. I wrote it about six hours before it was due in class and at that point I was very scared that it was complete crap, but the class seemed to enjoy it even though it was crap.

      That line about the independents probably wasn’t too fair. I am actually of the opinion that no matter what political affiliation a person is they must be a pervert. Probably not true but it helps me feel better about my pervertedness.

      And thank you for <3ing my crap. For like the first three years I used the internet I had know idea what ❤ meant. I was like 'what the hell is less than three!!!!' And generally people would respond '2, 1, zero or any negative integer' and that just confused me more.

  2. sololos says:

    This is probably my favorite thing you’ve written.

    • Danniel says:

      You’d think I’d take that as a compliment but I can’t help but be offended. I’m so terrible at taking compliments.

      This term for creative writing I had a lot of ideas for short stories so I’m thinking about writing some in my free time.

  3. Pingback: How to Get a Tattoo : How to Create a Tattoo Design Concept

  4. Pingback: #17 The Moon. It Is Falling Down! « CloserToClarity

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