Well the Super Bowl is Sunday so I guess I should talk about that and perhaps give my prediction. The Indianapolis Colts are playing against the New Orleans Saints in Super Bowl some number I’m too lazy to look up but I’m vaguely confident is in the forties. I have been a surprise fan of the Colts the entire year for reasons I am not quite certain of. They’ve always been a good team and so I’ve always hated them but I’ve slowly been turning a corner on them. Perhaps it’s because my Seattle Seahawks have been losing the last two years so even though they are still my favorite team it’s nice to root for a team that actually wins. I’m not jumping on the Colts bandwagon, I just like their team, but the Seahawks are still my favorite team forever and for always, unless they fill their roster with a bunch of murdering child molesting embezzlers, then they’ll be demoted to my second favorite team.
Both teams have reasons to root for them. For the Colts they have Peyton Manning, perhaps the best quarterback of all time. And the Saints are giving their still recovering city much excitement and happiness, but no hope, that hope crap is bullshit. You think because the Saints are in the Super Bowl all of the sudden everybody’s going o be like, “the Saints are in the Super Bowl, maybe if they win this whole Katrina mess will be reversed and everything will be fine and dandy.” The Saints winning won’t get the city rebuilt any faster. In fact if the people of New Orleans think that than its false hope, which mean the Saints winning is a bad thing. So we should all root for the Colts, because of course if we all root for them they’re more likely to win.
Both teams also have reasons to not root for them. The Colts have already won a Super Bowl, and it wasn’t too long ago, and they always have a winning record, while New Orleans is full of losers – not the people the team. And as for the Saints, well they have Reggie Bush, and he’s going out with Kim Kardashian, and she’s got a huge ass, and she displayed her huge ass in that sex tape she was more than likely forced to make with Ray J, Brandy’s brother with a large male organ, and Ray J is a fucking retard in oh so many more than one reasons. In the sex tape, not that I watched it oh so many more than one times or anything, he kept looking straight into the camera and it was so annoying. (Skip the rest of this paragraph David). It was so fucking hard to jack off while there was a skinny short black guy with a big dong making sexy faces at me. I mean I could do it because I’m a pro, but it took a lot of concentration (And now you see why you were supposed to skip the rest of the paragraph David).
Like most people I think the Colts will win. But unlike most people I have a sure fire reason for knowing they’re going to win. I flipped a coin and it landed on heads which was designated as the Colts, although I didn’t specify whether it meant the Colts would win or lose. Uh oh, I may regret betting my life savings on the game. Luckily my life savings is two dollars, that coin I flipped and half a shoe lace which may or may not have belonged to Michael Jordan………………….’s cousin’s best friend’s uncle’s proctologist. I really do think the Colts will win, mostly because Peyton Manning is a robot. The End. Good night and good luck. Mostly good luck because you may be reading this in the morning so saying good night does nothing for you at this moment. Although it’s more likely you aren’t reading this at all, so saying good night is really not going to help you, whereas luck is something everyone needs, especially the Saints if they’re going to win the Super Bowl (good wrap around) why thank you sir (you are welcome sir) ahza!
Prediction: Colts: 31, Saints: 27, Me: missing every point because I’ll be watching a marathon of How I Met Your Mother.