The Grammys are on tonight. I don’t care. I may or may not watch them. No one is performing that I care about and since I have the internet now I don’t need to record Beyonce’s performance and keep rewatching it while I jerk off, not that I ever did do that (seriously though, that never happened, at least not with Beyonce).
I’ve decided to take a different route for writing tonight, however I will leave the above paragraph as a constant reminder that I in no way want to write about the Grammys. However this leaves me with nothing to write about for today. This has become a common occurrence over the past month. Ah, I just realized what I can write about. A mini update on my new year resolutions.
The guitar playing is going well I suppose. I still don’t know how to play any songs but I haven’t really been trying to learn any songs. The idea of playing a song written by another person sort of disgusts me in a way. It feels like the equivalent of if I wrote something that was already written by another person. I guess playing a song written by another person is kind of like when people quote another person, which seems to be an acceptable act in our society. An act I don’t quite like. I’ll admit I’m more than just a little jealous. If I were to play a song by another person, or read a passage from a book I didn’t write, to someone and they quite enjoyed it I’d feel a little bad because they were enjoying something I didn’t create. That’s a jealous thought right? I get that it’s a little different with music because you’d be playing another person’s song but it still takes some talent to know how to play the song. But it just feels wrong to me. But again I think that comes mostly from a jealous stand point (wow, this paragraph has been extremely unfunny). Not everything I do has to be funny (well nothing is ever funny) well not everything I do needs to be an attempt at being funny (it need to be interesting at least) and this wasn’t interesting? (have you read it?) no (read it) okay. Wow, that totally wasn’t interesting (told you).
School is going so-so I guess. I don’t think I’ll be able to make my goal of transferring within the year. Lately school has seemed rather pointless and useless, but I know it’s something I have to do in order to not feel like a complete and utter failure in life for the moment. The math homework is beating the shit out of me. When I’m doing the homework its fine but I’m just too lazy to get up the energy to get the homework out and start doing it because math plays no fucking part in what I want to do with my life so I find it fucking pointless that I’m forced to take it in order to transfer. It’s fucking useless! But I’ve recently bitched about math so I’m not going to do it again. At least not here, but I’m calling David immediately to bitch some more.
The dream of doing stand up comedy has not become a nightmare yet, which is a bad thing, because at least if it were I nightmare I would have attempted it. It’s been one month and I haven’t gotten up on stage at all, except for amateur night at Willy’s Big Peter, which turned out not to be a comedy club, but it wasn’t a total bust because I made 31 dollars in ones and took home a trophy for third place. I haven’t been writing any comedy bits. I’m so fucking lazy. It’s beginning to take a toll on my life (it’s been taking a toll the last 22 years). I can’t do anything by myself. I need the motivation of having people to count on me to get anything done. I can’t do anything for myself. I just don’t see the point.
I’ve been writing everyday so that’s good I guess.