“Ralph,” Billy called to Ralph.
“What do you want?” Ralph said looking up from the textbook he was reading.
“I need help with a writing assignment for my writing class.”
“Sure,” Ralph said taking off his glasses and placing them on his textbook. “What’s the trouble?”
“I need to do a dialogue exercise.”
“And I have no idea what dialogue is.”
“I can only hope for your parent’s sake, nay, your future children’s sake that you’re joking.”
“I’m not joking,” Billy said not at all joking.
“How exactly does a person make it to the age of 21 and not know what dialogue is?”
“I blame the school system.”
“Of course you do.”
“Well why should I be in charge of my well being?”
“Certainly not because it’s your well being, emphasis on your,” Ralph said.
“Well my well being doesn’t matter right now. I need to know what dialogue is.”
“Can’t you just Google it? Contrary to popular opinion Google can be used for more than just searching for porn.”
“I tried that already,” Billy said staring at a large breasted woman talking with another woman with more proportionally sized breasts.
“And Google didn’t work?” Ralph said a little louder than normal making sure to get Billy’s attention back.
“It led to porn.”
“The internet is not too good for me,” Billy said quickly glancing back at the girls. “I figured I’d come to you since you lack all horniness.”
“I don’t lack all horniness. I like sex as much as the next guy. Unless the next guy is Tiger Woods.”
Billy stared blankly. “Tiger Woods is a golfer, not a porn star.”
“You don’t watch the news do you?”
“It’s boring and has no point.”
“The point is to inform people.”
“Of the news,” Ralph said annoyed. “For God’s sake do you know anything?”
“I know I don’t know what dialogue is and I came here to find out but so far you’ve been nothing but…” Billy stopped talking to check out a hot chick who entered the room.
“I’d finish your sentence for you but that would be showing some use and therefore make your sentence a lie, which I wouldn’t want to do.” That didn’t work so Ralph employed a new tactic to get Billy’s attention back. “I hear Megan Fox is doing a nude scene in Transformers 3.”
“Really?” Billy said.
“Didn’t your teacher explain to the class what dialogue was? Or did he just assume the majority of the class wasn’t idiots?”
“She did, but I wasn’t paying attention because I was too busy trying to figure out if my teacher is pregnant or not. Nate doesn’t think so, but I’m not too sure. I think her breasts have gotten bigger, but not like fake implants bigger.”
“I would say I don’t care,” Ralph begun, “but I do care. Actually at the moment my chief concern in life is hearing more about whether your teacher is pregnant or not. Global warming: don’t care. African genocide: couldn’t care less. How American Idol is going to be next season without Simon Cowell, well actually I really don’t care about that. But please, please, by all means continue to waste my time by telling me about how your teacher may or may not be pregnant.”
“She’s pretty hot,” Billy said. “I bet she cheats on her husband. I’ve seen pictures and he’s not a looker. She’s totally out of his league.”
“Go away Billy,” Ralph said putting his glasses back on.
“But what am I going to do about my dialogue exercise?” Billy pleaded. “All I’ve got so far is a paper with two hot chicks having a conversation.”
“Turn that in for your class you dumbass.”