Dialogue Exercise for my writing class

“Ralph,” Billy called to Ralph.

“What do you want?” Ralph said looking up from the textbook he was reading.

“I need help with a writing assignment for my writing class.”

“Sure,” Ralph said taking off his glasses and placing them on his textbook. “What’s the trouble?”

“I need to do a dialogue exercise.”


“And I have no idea what dialogue is.”

“I can only hope for your parent’s sake, nay, your future children’s sake that you’re joking.”

“I’m not joking,” Billy said not at all joking.

“How exactly does a person make it to the age of 21 and not know what dialogue is?”

“I blame the school system.”

“Of course you do.”

“Well why should I be in charge of my well being?”

“Certainly not because it’s your well being, emphasis on your,” Ralph said.

“Well my well being doesn’t matter right now. I need to know what dialogue is.”

“Can’t you just Google it? Contrary to popular opinion Google can be used for more than just searching for porn.”

“I tried that already,” Billy said staring at a large breasted woman talking with another woman with more proportionally sized breasts.

“And Google didn’t work?” Ralph said a little louder than normal making sure to get Billy’s attention back.

“It led to porn.”


“The internet is not too good for me,” Billy said quickly glancing back at the girls. “I figured I’d come to you since you lack all horniness.”

“I don’t lack all horniness. I like sex as much as the next guy. Unless the next guy is Tiger Woods.”

Billy stared blankly. “Tiger Woods is a golfer, not a porn star.”

“You don’t watch the news do you?”

“It’s boring and has no point.”

“The point is to inform people.”

“Of what?”

“Of the news,” Ralph said annoyed. “For God’s sake do you know anything?”

“I know I don’t know what dialogue is and I came here to find out but so far you’ve been nothing but…” Billy stopped talking to check out a hot chick who entered the room.

“I’d finish your sentence for you but that would be showing some use and therefore make your sentence a lie, which I wouldn’t want to do.” That didn’t work so Ralph employed a new tactic to get Billy’s attention back. “I hear Megan Fox is doing a nude scene in Transformers 3.”

“Really?” Billy said.

“Didn’t your teacher explain to the class what dialogue was? Or did he just assume the majority of the class wasn’t idiots?”

“She did, but I wasn’t paying attention because I was too busy trying to figure out if my teacher is pregnant or not. Nate doesn’t think so, but I’m not too sure. I think her breasts have gotten bigger, but not like fake implants bigger.”

“I would say I don’t care,” Ralph begun, “but I do care. Actually at the moment my chief concern in life is hearing more about whether your teacher is pregnant or not. Global warming: don’t care. African genocide: couldn’t care less. How American Idol is going to be next season without Simon Cowell, well actually I really don’t care about that. But please, please, by all means continue to waste my time by telling me about how your teacher may or may not be pregnant.”

“She’s pretty hot,” Billy said. “I bet she cheats on her husband. I’ve seen pictures and he’s not a looker. She’s totally out of his league.”

“Go away Billy,” Ralph said putting his glasses back on.

“But what am I going to do about my dialogue exercise?” Billy pleaded. “All I’ve got so far is a paper with two hot chicks having a conversation.”

“Turn that in for your class you dumbass.”


About Danniel

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12 Responses to Dialogue Exercise for my writing class

  1. uninvoked says:

    lol, that’s hilarious! I think you’ve got a natural talent for dialog.

    • Danniel says:

      thank you… I think it’s because I never shut up, so I hear people talking a lot, although it’s usually just me talking to myself, which I guess is a monologue except I do it in a fashion so it seems like two people are talking, oddly enough it makes me feel less like a loser.

      I see you’re doing a ‘noveling blog’. I read the introduction and I’ll go back to read the first chapter and perhaps more once I get some free time on my hands, which shouldn’t be too long for now, although I never know, it could take forever, although probably not.

  2. Neofreed0m says:

    You might want to tone it down a bit for school………..

    • Danniel says:

      I can’t be toned down.

      It’s a creative writing class for God’s sake, get with the times. You need to write something like that for your engineering classes.

  3. kiwitoast says:

    Haha, I really enjoyed this :D. Billy sort of reflects what kind of person I am, and it makes me sad D;

    • Danniel says:

      Well I did base him on you, you know, retrospectively – I’m using big words to make me sound more much smarterer.

      • kiwitoast says:

        Indeed, I believe that you are on the path to truly being good at acting intelligent
        keep up the good work

        • Danniel says:

          There’s a path? I thought it was going to be more of a teleportation type thing. Like I could just close my eyes and then when I opened them I would be there, and by there I mean smart.

          I put my shoes on before I put my pants on again. That has nothing to do with anything but I thought I should mention it.

          • kiwitoast says:

            Well it’s not really a path it’s more of a paved road that some people go on so it’s a little distorted. Perhaps in the future we’ll have like, teleportation once enough people go down the paved road for the government to start funding but for now it’s like that.

            That second last sentence confused me. D:

            • Danniel says:

              It confused us all my friend. But most of all it confused you. But don’t feel bad, you know what they say about being confused. They say… well actually you already know so there’s no need of saying it.

              • kiwitoast says:

                Yeah I know.

                What do they say about being confused

                • Danniel says:

                  Well I could tell you what they say but frankly it’d be a waste of both mine and your time. And don’t we both have better stuff we could be doing? The answer for me is no. I have nothing better I could be doing. This is absolutely the best thing I could ever do. It’s sad really.

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