Yesterday I went back to community college for the start of winter term. It was very ‘business as usual’ like. I woke up, ate some food, took a shower, jerked off – it helps wake me up – threw on some clothes – the same sweat pants and hoodie I wear to school about 60% of the time – and went to class. There wasn’t much wonderment concerning my classes. Two of the classes I’m taking this term I essentially took last term. They’re just the next level of the class in the series and I’m taking them with the same teachers I had last time, who both gave me A’s even though I didn’t deserve them. In history I didn’t turn in one assignment that was worth 10% of the grade, and missed about five classes, yet I still managed to get an A. My theory is that I’ve had the teacher enough times that he knows I know the material enough to deserve an A, which is completely not true at all. The only reason I ace all the tests in that class is because I cram for hours the morning of the test and then I forget every ounce of the material the second after taking the test. In my creative writing class last term the teacher had said he wouldn’t give anybody anything lower than a B as long as they showed up to the class and submitted a short story to be read at the end of the term. I missed seven classes. According to the Syllabus for every absence over 3 it’s supposed to lower the grade by one half letter. I’m not sure why this teacher gave me an A. I guess we get along sort of well. We’ve had a few discussions over the year but nothing bonding, so the A is a bit of a surprise here. Anyway, let me break down my classes.
My first class of the day is History 202, which is American History from around the Civil War to the first World War. I know this teacher and how he teaches so well that I should be able to get an A in this class with my eyes closed, both hands tied behind my back, and my mouth on my cock – I don’t know why I said that, it just popped into my head. I was disappointed with the people in this class. Since this is the only American history class at this campus I was hoping to see some familiar faces from last term, like that creepy kid who provided me with so much entertainment. The way he would stare at that girl he so clearly had a crush on bordered along stalker like. The girl would be sitting right next to him (not by choice, but rather because he would sit by her after she had already picked her seat) and he would have his head turned at a complete 90 degree angle just staring at her for minutes at a time. And it appeared he wasn’t even trying to hide it. In fact I think he wanted her to notice it, because he had this weird creepy smile on his face the whole time that said, ‘hey girl, look at me looking at you, I know you want me, well guess what, I want you too, so let’s bone right here in front of the whole class.’ But that’s not even the weirdest thing this kid did. Once in class I caught him picking his nose. It wasn’t like it was hard to catch it. He had his pinky knuckle deep in his nostril picking away for a good five minutes. I couldn’t fucking believe it. He wasn’t trying to hide it at all. It’s like he had no shame. And what’s worst of all is that he would be picking his nose with his pinky and he wouldn’t wipe the boogers under his chair like a normal person, instead he stuck his finger in his mouth and sucked it. Yes, he sucked on his finger he just had buried in his nose. Part of me was disgusted. But a larger part of me was jealous. And the smallest part of me was oddly erected. The fact that he could blatantly pick his nose in class and then suck on his finger and not give a crap made me jealous. I wish I could not give a fuck like that. I can’t even walk into the classroom without feeling like every single eye is glaring at me judging all my faults (which is completely contradictory considering your self-esteem is so low you constantly feel as if no cares about you). They only care to judge.
My next class of the day is Mathematics, Intermediate Algebra. I’m taking this class with the same teacher I had in the past, so this term I have no new teachers. I fucking hate math. It’s not because I can’t do it. I do fairly well at math when I try. But its far too repetitive for me (unlike masturbating everyday, right?) no, that’s completely different. Everyday I can masturbate to something new, although I don’t. It’s always the same thing, Asians with big fake breasts. I’m kidding. I like to mix it up and occasionally go with Mexicans with big fake breasts. Pretty much I’m flexible with the race but the big fake knockers are a must (people probably think you’re serious right now) as they should. Anyway the homework is going to be a bitch. I hate homework. I don’t want to do math at home. I want to masturbate at home. I can do homework at school, but I can’t masturbate there….yet. Luckily between this class and my next class I have two hours to sit around at school and wait, so I plan on using that time to get some of my homework done, that way I’ll have much more free time at home to do whatever I want (masturbate) the people know that by now. I’m only taking math because I need it to transfer, which is fucking ridiculous. I can almost guarantee you that the main reason most people end up dropping out of college, and probably out of high school too, is because they can’t pass all the mandatory math and science classes. Listen, I get that science is important, and I get that therefore math is important because many branches of science use math, but God damn it in my entire 22 years of living I haven’t once found knowing how to find the slope of a line useful. Granted it was only yesterday that I learned how to find the slope of a line, but still, almost none of that crap will ever be useful in most people’s life. And I get the whole idea that the reason so many high schools and colleges are forcing students to take math and science is because we live in a world where those skills are becoming more prevalent in jobs, but forcing me to take a math class in college isn’t going to make me want to change my career path and all of the sudden want to become an engineer. For the love of God only idiots want to become engineers nowadays (That’s a joke for David, who appears to be the only guy reading these crappy things, even though he should be focusing more on school because becoming an engineer takes a lot of work, which is why only an intelligent idiot would want to become one). Anyway, my point is that colleges shouldn’t force all these math and science classes on people because if I want to do something in business, which I certainly do not, then knowing how to multiply a radical expression will do nothing to help me move up the corporate ladder. And neither will sleeping with the bosses daughter, but at least that would be fun, unlike math, which I more equate with being dry anally raped by the bosses obese son who has the penis of a pornstar.
My last class of the day is advanced creative writing fiction. I took creative writing fiction last term, but this is the advanced class which means it’s completely different, except for the fact that it’s exactly the same. It’s with the same teacher, and most of the class is made up of students not in the advanced class, so the teacher is going to teach the class the exact same way that he did when I took it last term. That being said if I don’t get an A I will officially be the biggest disappointment ever to come from my moms vagina, aside from what’s produced during that special time of the month (that’s too disgusting, and really there was no need to mention that).