“I hate pissing at a urinal,” Tom said as he unzipped his pants.
“Really,” Larry said while standing at the urinal next to Tom. “I find it spectacularly exciting compared to the mundane experience of peeing at home.”
“They’re too high. I almost have to aim up just to make it in the hole.”
“I would guess they’re made with the average man’s height in mind.”
“They should be lower. You tall bastards have to aim down when you’re pissing anyway. What’s a few more inches going to do?”
“You could always pee in the little kid’s urinal.” Larry nodded his head towards the urinal to his left.
“I’m not pissing in no urinal for some kid. I’m a man damn it. And I’ll piss in a man’s urinal.”
“Of course you are.”
“Did you just sneak a peak?” Tom said.
“Did you just check out my junk?
“No,” Larry said confused.
“You just looked at me.”
“I was making eye contact. I was trying to be polite. When you’re having a conversation it’s polite to make eye contact. It shows the person talking that you’re listening.”
“That’s all fine and dandy in the real world but this is the bathroom.”
“The bathroom isn’t the real world?”
“No,” Tom said, “the bathroom has different rules than the rest of the world. No eye contact. None. Never.”
“Okay,” Larry said as he made a broad display while averting his eyes to the ceiling.
“It’s not fair you know?”
“What’s not fair?”
“This separator thing that separates the urinals,” Tom said.
“The Partition,” Larry said still staring at the ceiling.
“Whatever,” Tom said. “You’re tall so you can see over it. I’m short so I can’t.”
“Why would I want to look over it?”
“Maybe you’re insecure?”
“Maybe,” Larry said. “Probably not, but maybe?”
“Well I’m not insecure. I’m very secure. My skin is a security blanket. It keeps me secure. I’ve got nothing to feel insecure about.”
“I never said you did.”
“You implied it with your tone.”
“What tone? I didn’t use any specific tone.”
“You had a tone.” Tom zipped up his pants. “My ear is like a tuning fork. You can’t hide your tone from me.” Tom walked away from the urinal trying to sneak a peak at Larry as he passed by.
“You didn’t flush,” Larry said.
“Germs!” Tom said as he walked out the door exiting the bathroom.