The Jerk Report: Ugh!

That thing where you know the name of someone but you can’t think of it at the time and then later at some random moment you remember the name – This happened to me last week when someone brought up the kid from Married with Children and I know his name but at the time I couldn’t think of it for the life of me but I kid you not, less than five minutes ago the name came to me, it’s David Faustino. That’s all I have to say about that. I just wanted to get it off my chest. That thing where you know the name of someone but you can’t think of it at the time and then later at some random moment you remember the name, you’re a Jerk!

Days where it’s sunny, but then rains, and is then sunny again – Listen God, cause I know you’re in charge of the weather, just pick one, either sunny or rainy and that will be it for the day. I’m tired of walking to school in seven layers of clothing protecting myself from the rain and then when I walk home it’s sunny as fuck and my multitude of clothes act as a sauna. And it works vice versa too. I’m tired of having to walk home in the rain when it was sunny in the morning and I walked to school wearing nothing but a tube top and my sexiest booty shorts. I just want the weather to be consistent throughout the day. If it’s going to rain it should rain the whole day. If it’s going to be sunny it should be sunny the whole day. If it’s going to hail, it should never hail. Under my new weather system hail does not exist. The point is that I just don’t want my weather to flip flop. If I wanted a flip flopper I would have voted for John Kerry – I actually would have voted for John Kerry if I was old enough, and I have nothing against him I just thought I should add some political humor here and I thought I could take a easy shot at John Kerry because I know a lot of Republicans read this. But anyway, Days where it’s sunny, but then rains, and is then sunny again, you’re a Jerk!!

Creep of the Week

Guy who sat in front of me in History class – So I was sitting in History class and halfway through we get a ten minute break and during that break the guy who sits in front of me went over to this girl a few seats away and started talking to her about another class they had together or something. So he leaves for a few moments and then comes back with two Scantron sheets in his hand that are used for tests. So he gives one to the girl and she’s like, ‘oh, thanks.’ And he plays it all coy saying, ‘they were only 10 cents so no big deal.’ But he lied! I know for a fact because I bought those same Scantron sheets the week before and they were 15 cents each, not 10 as he had stated. So unless they went on sale within the previous five days he’s a liar. And if he’s not lying and they did go on sale then I’m pissed because I got screwed out of 20 cents – I bought 4 of them. But anyway when the class started back up and the teacher started yapping I notice that the guy sitting in front of me kept looking over at the chick he bought the Scantron sheet for. At first I guess it was fairly innocent, only looking over every couple of minutes and only for a few seconds at a time. But then he went into an all out stare, staring for minutes at a time nonstop.  But the worst thing about it was that he didn’t even seem like he was trying to hide that he was staring. I’m not indicting him for staring at the chick. That would be superb hypocrisy. I stare at chicks all the time. But I hide it, and I hide it damn well. But this guy sitting in front of me didn’t hide it at all. It was a disgrace to the entire male sex. Guy who sat in front of me in History class, you’re a JERK!

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About Danniel

http://closertoclarity.com/
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One Response to The Jerk Report: Ugh!

  1. Neofreed0m says:

    It will be funny if you sit in between them next time, so it would appear as if he is staring at you.

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