I want you to do something for me. No not that, that’s disgusting. I want you to think about all the TV shows you watch, and think about all the characters on those shows (No anime). After you do this for 30 seconds continue to read. Now that you’re back, although I assume all of you just kept reading anyway, I want you to think about what color those characters are. (Notice I said color not ethnicity.) Mostly white? That’s what I thought. You people are racists. Or are you? Maybe the reason most of the characters you thought of are white is because the majority of the shows on TV are flooded with white people? Even more so than a Kanye West concert in Connecticut. (?) Wiggers and housewives who want to fuck him. (Oh.)
Since the TV shows are flooded with white people it must be the TV execs who choose what shows to put on the air who are racist. I don’t think so. But an Article in Entertainment Weekly by Jennifer Armstrong and Margeaux Watson may be implying that. (You read Entertainment Weekly?) Only for the nude women. (There’s a joke in there but you have to look for it really hard.) I once learned from a Family Guy commentary that ‘If it’s a thinker, than it’s a stinker.’ (Speaking of Family Guy.)
As you may or may not have heard, next TV season there will be a Family Guy spinoff show. The show will be based on the character Cleveland Brown. That’s right, the slow talking, Margette Thatcher loving, Peter Griffin’s neighbor who is ironically voiced by a white guy. And yes the show will suck but will not get canceled for four years because you idiots love crappy shows. (The idiots I refer to are Chris and Quy. Oh yeah and the rest of America.) This Cleveland show, as I’ll call it, will be the only new show next year that’s main character is a minority. Clearly the network execs are racist. But I’m still not convinced.
Here’s a breakdown of the US population in terms of race and color, (more on that later.) According to Entertainment Weekly which they got from the 2007 US Census, 66.2% is White, 12.9% is Black, 15.2% is Hispanic, 4.5% is Asian, 1% is Native American and .2% is Pacific Islander. Notice anything? Besides that it should be ‘are’ instead of ‘is’. (Race and Color.) The first two groups (White’s and Blacks) are colors. The rest are ethnicities. As far as I’m concerned this is not a race issue, this is a color issue. So I’m going to lump everybody who’s not white into a category called ‘Colored’, and lump everybody who’s not colored, which I assume includes Canadians, Russians Ukrainians, typical whites and so forth into a category called ‘less pigmented’. So according to my two new groups, the Colored group makes up 33.8% of the US population and the Less Pigmented group makes up 66.2% of the US Population. But when we compare this to the percentage of characters on TV shows on the main networks it’s not the same. The Less Pigmented group makes up 74.72% of the characters on TV. While the Colored group only makes up 25.28% of the characters. A difference of about 8% compared to their populations. So why is the Less Pigmented percentage higher and the Colored percentage lower? Before I attempt to give you idiots the answer I must go on a tangent. (Why’d you call your readers idiots?) Force of habit from the religious blog.
The tangent (hopefully not diatribe)
The Hispanics make up 15.2% of the US population but only 6.38% of the characters on TV. While the Blacks make up 12.9% of the US population but only 13.92% of the characters on TV. (Wait, only 13.92? That’s higher than their population percentage) My point. The Hispanics or as I like to call them the Mexicans, percentage of character’s on TV is less than half of their US population, while the Blacks is more than their population. But the Blacks are the ones complaining about not being shown on TV enough. This complaining comes of course through the NAACP, which stands for The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. Which is funny because they always talk about how you should call them African American’s. So it should be the National Association for the Advancement of African American’s or NAAAA. Which Dr. Cox from Scrubs pointed out brilliantly. (Doesn’t the NAACP involve all colored people?) First of all I watched the NAACP awards last year and they wouldn’t even let Flavor Flav in because he isn’t black enough. And Secondly they just use the other color groups to help them get ahead.
The Mexicans don’t complain. They work by far the hardest for the least amount of money, which is a sign of their stupidity. It’s also how I know I’ll never be rich. The Asians don’t complain about not being on TV, same with the Native Americans – I think the not being on TV thing is pretty low on the Native American’s Totem Pole, and I mean literally, That’s what they use Totem Poles for. My overall point of this tangent is that the Blacks are the ones complaining about not being on TV enough when in fact the Less Pigmented and the Blacks both appear on TV more then their total population % by about the same Percent (to the tune of .05%). Why don’t you idiots Jennifer Armstrong and Margeaux Watson point this out in the article? Is it because you’re black? I really don’t know. But their idiots either way. (At least they’re getting paid to write.) I write for the same reason I masturbate. (Because you can’t get laid?) Yes. And it’s my passion. And for the orgasm of course.
Before I went on the tangent I was going to explain why the percentage of Less Pigmented Characters on TV is higher than the Percentage of Colors on TV compared to their populations. Well I forgot what I was going to say. But it must have been brilliant. (Of course, otherwise you wouldn’t have forgotten it right?) I have, however, come up with something new, although it could be what I was going to say before. The reason for what I stated before-I’m tired of writing the whole Less Pigmented, Colored thing- is because most of the writers are white. And as you’ve probably heard the saying before, “write what you know.” So do you want the Jews writing about Blacks and Hispanics growing up in the inner city gang banging? I think you don’t. Because is seems to me like whenever A person who isn’t a certain color writes about a person of a certain color the person of a certain color always gets mad about how the writer isn’t that certain color so that person doesn’t really know what it’s like to be that certain color. So it seems to me like not only do the Blacks want more characters on TV, but also more Blacks writers and Director’s and execs. It sounds like what you’re talking about is Affirmative Action. And we all know that doesn’t work. Don’t get me wrong I love diversity. In fact my favorite thing about the US is that it’s the most diverse place in the world, possibly the universe. I’m sure it’s a hell of a lot more diverse than heaven – the least white things in heaven are the clouds. Even though I love Diversity I don’t believe you should hire an Asian if you’ve interviewed a more suitable white person. Or write in a Black character when A Canadian character fits in better. Or sign a Jewish person to a 50 million dollar contact to play Center for your basketball team when any black person would be better. I bring up sports (especially Basketball) Because that’s an area where whites are sparse. But you don’t hear the whites complaining. At least not in public. We save it for our weekly secret meetings. Which I can’t actually attend because I’m part Mexican. But I do get the newsletter. And about the abundance of Blacks in the NBA. You definitely don’t hear the NAACP complaining about how there aren’t enough Asians or Hispanics in the league. I wonder why. Well the NAACP might say because sports are different because they’re competitive. I call BULLSHIT on that. Isn’t everything that pays competitive? Last time I checked they don’t just hand out jobs to people when there are people who are better suited (Affirmative Action). You have to go to school and get better grades then everyone else so you can get the few open spots in the best colleges so you can get the best jobs available so you can work your ass off, bring in more money for the company and either get a promotion or get a better job offer from another company. So from where I’m sitting, (At home jobless and not attending college and making nothing out of my life) Competitive sports is a lot like the real world of jobs. So if you’re 5’6 and white you can’t play professional basketball even though it’s all you ever wanted to do your whole life and you cry yourself to sleep every night and sometimes you paint yourself black and imagine what it’d be like to be in the NBA and have a decent sized penis… I’ve said too much. And if they did hire people not based on competitiveness and performance then wouldn’t that be communism? And I’ll go to a Homer Simpson quote for my thoughts on Communism, “In theory communism works. In theory.” Not terribly funny but it gets my point across. And all you religious people don’t go saying ‘well evolution is just a theory.’ Evolution is a scientific theory based on years of studying and experiments and not on some stupid book nobody reads but everybody believes in. (Back to the point.) I want more religious Black people on TV. (What) Exactly.
(Finally a new paragraph.) My overall point is that these so-called ‘racist’ TV execs aren’t racist. They would put anything on TV as long as it made them a lot of money. It’s all about the money. Hopefully they’ll put on the new TV show I’m writing. It’s about how Abraham Lincoln was a Racist.