The Jerk Report: A lazy effort

Serena Williams – In this past week’s US Open tennis tournament Serena Williams got in trouble for threatening a line judge in a tennis match after the line judge had penalized her for a foot fault, otherwise known has Serena Williams having her foot on the line while she was serving. Serena Williams had some choice words for the line judge, which were something along the lines of Williams wanting to conduct an experiment to see if she could fit a tennis ball down the line judge’s throat. The line judge didn’t seem to want to partake in the experiment. I don’t know if you saw the line judge, but she appeared to be a very small middle aged Asian woman. Serena had to be at least twice her size and four times her body mass. And let me add this about Serena Williams’ physical appearance. I’ve never been more confused when looking at a woman than when looking at her. I can’t figure out if I want to masturbate, because she has a nice butt and huge juggs, or if I want to puke, because she has the arms and legs of a body builder, and I don’t mean a female body builder. If you painted her green you’d have the perfect mate for the incredible hulk. I don’t know why Serena Williams felt she had to threaten that little Asian line judge, but Serena Williams, you’re a Jerk!

Laziness – Oh fuck, I’ve felt so lazy these past few days. It’s been as annoying as a chipmunk shitting in a Gucci purse. And as showcased in the previous sentence my writing has been lazy too. Every word takes so much effort to think of and then type out, and then when I finally complete a sentence its never any good  and usually contains the words masturbation, breasts, penis, small (although small usually comes before penis) and salubrious. And I don’t even know what that last one means, and I’m too lazy to look it up. Laziness, you’re a Jerk!!

Creep of the Week

Kanye West – I’m assuming we all know what Kanye West did because we all have TVs and its been all over the news. And don’t tell me you’re one of those people who don’t watch TV, because let me tell you a little secret, those people don’t exist. So Taylor Swift won the MTV award for best female video or something like that and then Kanye West interrupted her and ruined her moment by announcing to the world that Beyonce’s video was one of the best videos of all time. First of all I don’t get that. I’ve seen that video (many times while masturbating) and I find nothing special about it. But then again I hate almost all music videos. What I most love was how Kanye West first turned to Taylor Swift and said, ‘no disrespect’ and then went on to basically say that Beyonce should have won, which is a little disrespectful. I would feel bad for Taylor Swift but I can guarantee you her record sales will go up and that means more money for her. And I can guarantee that because in a week from now you aren’t going to go look at her records sales and then write me back about how I was wrong. As far as Kanye goes, I’m trying to figure out if he loves Black people or hates White people. I get the feeling it’s a little bit of both. I’m sure we all remember back a few years ago when he accused George W. Bush of hating Black people. I don’t think George W. Bush likes Black people, but I don’t think he hates Black people, or at least not as much as he hates Mexicans. But either way I think we can agree that the way Kanye West went about calling out George W. Bush on his hatred of Black people was less than classy. Mr. West just has a way of doing things in the least classy way possible. Kanye West, you’re a JERK!


About Danniel
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8 Responses to The Jerk Report: A lazy effort

  1. sololos says:

    When will people learn that this is just the kind of person Kanye West is?

    • Danniel says:

      I think now. But of course his next album will still sell a lot of copies. I think we’ll have to deal with Kanye West for a long time.

  2. Neofreed0m says:

    I don’t watch TV, BUT because I am on the internet a lot I heard about this story.

  3. Callan says:

    “I can’t figure out if I want to masturbate, because she has a nice butt and huge juggs, or if I want to puke,”
    Why are they mutually exclusive?

    Your just setting up barriers for yourself…

  4. Callan says:

    That’s plausible.

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