I’m having trouble writing today. I woke up around five this morning and tried to write while I was watching America’s Next Top Model which I recorded last night. Yes, I happen to like watching America’s Next Top Model. I used to watch it in the past but then I stopped and now I started watching again this season because this year they’re having short girls on. The rule used to be that you had to be five foot seven or taller to be on the show but this season you have to be five foot seven or under. I always hated most of the girls on previous seasons because they were so tall and so skinny. I hate tall women most assuredly because I’m short (five foot six). I mean I wouldn’t be against having unabashed, dirty, rotten, sex sessions with tall girls, but I can’t see myself marrying a tall girl. I actually could but it’d be emasculating and I’m already emasculated in so many other ways that it’s not even funny, quite sad actually. And I don’t like skinny girls because it doesn’t look right. But skinny seems to look less awkward on shorter girls to me. Tall skinny girls are like kryptonite to me, they shrivel my penis.
Anyway, the writing while watching America’s Next Top Model didn’t work out too well. I switched between two different topics, none of which I really wanted to write about today, but one I’ll probably revisit later this week. So I stopped focusing on the writing and just started Watching America’s Next Top Model. It was the first episode so they start with a bunch of girls and then narrowed it down to the ones who are going to compete this season. As always the hottest chick didn’t make it. And also as always the chick who I thought had the best personality didn’t make it. It’s like me and Tyra Banks are looking for completely different things in women, which I supposed is a good thing. And then she always gives the girls makeovers to ‘make them look better’ but they always look worst then before. A couple of the girls will get their hair cut really short and they’ll look like boys, which it turns out I’m not very attracted to. But it’s not like I can masturbate to these girls anyway. One because I’m on my absurd quest to not masturbate for the rest of the year, but more importantly because these girls got no curves. They’re flatter than surfboards. I’ve got bigger breasts than most of these chicks. Quite possibly the saddest thing in the world is that I’m being serious.