The most ironic thing to ever happen in my life was when I knocked my tooth out at a Safeway store.
An experiment in typing:
My wall is painted blue. I don’t know why it is painted that color but it is. I have a feeling that my mom gave me an option, to a certain extent, of what color I wanted to paint my bedroom wall when we moved into our house around fifteen years ago. From the looks of it I chose sky blue. I don’t regret my decision. One of the few things I don’t regret.
I remember, I don’t know why I remember, but I remember that the people who owned this house before my family bought it used my room as an office type room. It makes sense since it is the smallest of the three bedrooms. I’m not sure what the office was used for. I just remember that there was no bed in the room and there was a desk, but no computer, which wasn’t odd in those days. I’d like to think that the owner used it as a room to write in, and that maybe the left behind essence helped pushed me towards the love of writing. Obviously, as showcased in my writing, had the former owner used the room for writing he must not have been too good. Of course that is assuming the whole transference of essence theory holds true, which it doesn’t.
The experiment has ended, and been daubed a failure.
I was watching the news the other day and saw that some guy crashed his car through an adult sex shop window, got out of the car, grab an item, yes, it appeared to be one single item, and then got back in his car and drove off. The whole thing was caught on tape. All I can say is that I hope he makes good use of the plastic vagina he stole because in prison he’s going to have to play the role of it.
I have no idea how big an acre is. I recently googled it and found out an acre is 43,560 square feet. I still have no idea how big an acre is. Is 43,560 square feet closer to the size of a football field or an elephant’s ass? I have no idea.
If I was ever going to expose myself in public I can guarantee you it’d be somewhere in Asia.
No, I like the previous joke better without having to explain it.
If I were to envy God it wouldn’t be for his omnipotence, but for the humongous penis you know he must have.