Quote of the Week: Optimism???

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us – Alexander Graham Bell.

Although I haven’t been too happy as of the last 72 hours or so I’m still in an optimistic mood for the year. Having said that this quote doesn’t really have anything to do with my situation, assuming there is a situation, which would probably be wrong to assume. I just looked up optimistic quotes and this was the first one I saw, and I rather liked it, for reasons I may or may not specify later, or now. I think it is true that when something bad happens to a person they only focus on the negative and not on the possibilities of good that might arise out of what happened. Many people fear moving, and rather than focus on what good might come of it focus on all the good things they will be losing. They should be focusing on the good things they will be gaining, like the new scenery, a new life experience, a new toilet to piss in, and new girls to stock, if that’s your thing I mean.

I am notorious for focusing on all the bad rather than all the potential good. For example when that girl turned me down for the prom sure it sucked and I cry in my bed all night with images of her fucking other guys, possibly Tim Martin, but had I focused on the good I would have realized I could have been up all night masturbating to pictures of her, which would be far better than fucking her I’m sure. Or when I got my license revoked I just sat around at home and never went anywhere, when I should have been happy that now I could drive around without a license which would make driving more exciting because I would have to avoid getting pulled over, which would also make me a safer driver. Or like when my family got brutally murdered by our gardener and I ended up seeking revenge and killing him which somehow got me thrown in jail and then I got so sad I committed suicide, when I should have looked on the bright side that Fox was making a made for TV movie about the situation and I was going to be played by David Faustino. Okay, you may have guessed by now that none of those examples are real. But now I’ll give you some real examples – or just one example, I’m not sure yet – that will be much more boring I am sure.

When things didn’t work out with that one girl – who I will not mention her name because even though no one she knows reads this and she doesn’t read this I’m about to say something she probably wouldn’t want me to say about her – I was somewhat devastated, although not really, and I would argue things didn’t not work out because they really never got started. But anyway I got overly sad and I barely even knew her. I was young, oh so young (19), and I was about to start community college and I wouldn’t have been able to handle a relationship at that time, so instead of being sad I should have been happy because I got to focus on community college, which actually didn’t work out because I was taking one class and I still failed it, and actually had I gotten in a relationship with that girl I would have been more motivated to do good in community college and I probably would have passed that one class and continued to do well in community college and have transferred to a real college by now, so really that girl not liking me and calling me creepy (which is a whole other story of itself) was the worst thing to have ever happened to me. Oh crap, I’m being negative again. No, but time has shown that being with that girl wouldn’t have worked out well anyway. I saw her later at a party and she had a boyfriend, who wasn’t at the party, and apparently him not being at the party and her having a few drinks in her meant it was okay for her to make out with another guy, a guy who she had just met that night and even though I had met multiple times, even times when we both knew we liked each other, we had never kissed, which doesn’t do a lot for my confidence; I can’t even get a girl to kiss me when she likes me. For all of you who doubt my loser status suck on that fact. But I’m being negative again. The ultimate ‘I’m-glad-things-didn’t-work-out-with-her’ fact is that had things worked out with her I probably would have never met the person I currently do more than like, and that would have sucked for my life.

Quote of the Week: Differing Opinions

We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

This La Rochefoucauld is an idiot. I totally disagree with him. He has no idea what he is talking about. He has no good sense whatsoever. Wait a second, now I get. This man is a genius!

It’s only natural that if someone disagrees with me, they are therefore wrong, and therefore an idiot, not for disagreeing with me, because that would make me arrogant, but rather for being wrong, because it’s only right that if someone is wrong in opinion they are stupid. I think that’s how many people justify calling people idiots for disagreeing with them. I’ve heard many a conversation where this phrase takes place: ‘I’m not calling you stupid for disagreeing with me. I’m calling you stupid because you’re wrong.’ And sometimes that will be extended to, ‘if I were wrong I’d be calling myself stupid too.’ Of course this is where the whole fault in opinions takes place. A person would never have to call themselves stupid because a person would never believe something they thought was wrong. If the person believed something they thought was wrong why would they believe it? Well I believe there are people who claim to believe things they really don’t think are right, and generally the motivation behind that is money (Bill O’Reilly) or attention (Bill O’Reilly). But talking about that is a whole other thing in and of itself. I’m talking about people who really believe what they say they believe and therefore find other people who disagree with them to be wrong and stupid. It’s only natural that we think people who are wrong are stupid. If you asked someone who the first president of the United States was and they said Jesus H Christ we’d all point and laugh at the person and then the person would run home crying, masturbate and then lie in bed for weeks wishing they had a bigger penis – no, that’s not based on a real life experience. Of course that example is using a factual question, whereas most disputes take place over the matter of opinions. But as we all know people take their own opinions to be factual. The prime example is religion. These religious people think what they believe in is right, and they have no doubt about it. And many people criticize them for it. I happen to be one of those people because I think religion is stupid, but it’s only natural that they believe in it so strongly because how can you as a person believe in something if it wasn’t right? If you knew you were wrong wouldn’t you change your opinion to the right one? Can you think of any opinions you have that are wrong? Of course not, because if you had any opinions that you thought were really wrong you would have changed them by now. Of course that’s just my opinion, and since I figure all my opinions are wrong, you must have many opinions you believe in that you really think are wrong. Anyway, my point is, or rather what I think my point is, because I’m not sure, is that people look at their opinions as factual because they wouldn’t believe in them if they didn’t think they were right, or at least the best of all possible opinions, and therefore when someone disagrees with them it’s like they’re disagreeing on what each other thinks is a fact and that’s why everybody considers everybody else an idiot. And of course after reading this you should consider me an idiot.

I personally make it a point to willingly know that all my opinions are wrong. Well how can I have wrong opinions knowing they are wrong? Wouldn’t I just change them to opinions I thought were right? Nope, because, once again, I am an idiot.

Quote of the Week: It’s crappy

Imagination is more important than knowledge – Albert Einstein

Albert, I agree with you in theory. In theory Communism works, in theory. Okay, so basically I just quoted Homer Simpson from the episode of The Simpsons where Bart gets an elephant, with the exception that I changed Marge to Albert. David can attest that out of all the lines in movies and televisions I by far quote that more than anything, and while it’s not very funny it always cracks me up pretty much more than anything except the time my friend believed me and my other friend when we told him licking elbows was an actual sexual thing people did with each other. But perhaps I should get to talking about the quote? (Perhaps you should.)

I think in some aspects imagination is more important than knowledge. In terms of happiness it would be better to have a good imagination than have a lot of knowledge.  If I imagined that I wasn’t a pathetic, loser I assume I would be a lot happier than I am now with the knowledge that I am a pathetic loser. But in the career field I think knowledge would be more important than imagination (what about creative writing?) I think I’ve well established that I know nothing about writing. It’s too difficult to determine whether imagination or knowledge is more important. But what I do know is that it probably doesn’t matter.

Einstein wasn’t a very attractive man. And I’m not just talking about the crazy hair. Actually, having just googled Einstein and looking at his photos as a younger man it turns out he wasn’t a terribly unattractive person, which totally shits on my theory I haven’t even got to yet. But I think we can agree that for the most part ugly people are more attractive than beautiful people. My theory is that ugly people don’t get much attention from other people so they spend a lot of their time reading and studying. While hot penis – wow, I just wrote penis when I meant to write people, this is very embarrassing. (Why don’t you just delete it?) I would never get rid of penis. Anyway, hot people don’t read or study because they’re too busy having sex.

I just can’t write today. This was really crap. If you’ve read this much I sincerely apologize.

Quote of the Week: It’s about working

Work isn’t to make money; you work to justify life. – Marc Chagall

In this day and age I think work may solely be for the purpose of making money. I think it would be wonderful if we could all go out and get jobs we loved doing and didn’t have to worry about making an income by working a crappy job that drains us of our souls, but the fact of the matter is soul draining jobs are what makes our society go round. If money wasn’t a factor then everybody would just be a painter (which Marc Chagall happened to be) or musician, or TV watcher, or Writer. I mean look at all the people already who have to justify their lives by writing crap nobody cares about and posting it on the internet where nobody will continue to care about it and they do this for free, what pathetic losers these internet bloggers are (interesting hearing that come from you) I don’t even begin to know what you’re talking about. But behind sleeping, work is going to be the second thing most people do in their lives, so why shouldn’t it at least help justify their life? Luckily for me I use sleep to justify my life. I don’t know if I can be one of those people who gets a job they hate and works it their whole life. That’s one of the biggest things that scare’s me about life. I know it’s part of life for most people, but it’s a part of life I’d like to avoid. I admire the people who can go out and work a job they hate their whole life in order to pay the bills for their family. I really do. Those stupid bastards have my full admiration. I mean screw Obama, all he does is raise my taxes and laugh about it (first of all you don’t have a job and therefore don’t pay taxes) true (and second of all you voted for Obama) also true, and I think he’s a great president [coughs* for a black man] I’m kidding. He’s far better than the self-righteous, Arab hating, cracker we had before him. But the jury is still out if he’s better than the pervert we had before Bush Jr. Boy did I love that pervert. But the point that I was trying to make before I got off topic as I always do is that Obama doesn’t make this country run, and neither do high priced lawyers or Doctors, or CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies. It’s the peanut counters, and the box movers, and pill poppers (no), and the burger flippers, it’s those people who knocked up their high school girlfriends and got crappy jobs to pay for the baby and now fifteen years later they still have those crappy jobs and go home every night to their callous unattractive wives who won’t have sex with them so they go out to the bars while unbeknownst to them their wives sleep with their best friends and at the bar they drink their sorrows away, but it’s only for the night because their sorrows will be back tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and everyday for the rest of their pathetic lives, and they wonder where they went wrong and the answer my friend is at birth, it was being born where they went wrong, it’s them, those poor pathetic son’s of bitches that make this country so great.

God bless them. And may they have a great labor day.

And why do they call it Labor Day anyway? I mean it’s one of the only days of the year that people aren’t supposed to work, yet it’s called Labor Day, essentially Work Day. It should be No Labor Day right? right? (crowd boos)

And a special happy birthday to my buddy Thai Son – may your twenty-second year of life be leaps and bounds better than your twenty-first – and also happy birthday to my new chum Lizzy, who probably isn’t even reading this.

Quote of the Week. Numero Uno

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is – George Bernard Shaw (from Man and Superman).

See, so I should be the most well respected human on this planet, because let me tell you I have much to be ashamed of (yeah but you aren’t ashamed of any of it) one day I will be. Oh Jesus Christ, how one day I will be ashamed. And on that day I will become the most respected being in the known universe. I don’t quite agree fully with this quote. It’s kind of saying that if a man rapes a child and he’s ashamed of it he should be respected for his shame. I know it’s not really saying that, but if you look hard enough and change some words around then that’s exactly what its saying. I don’t think a person should be respected when they’re doing something wrong just because they realize they’re doing something wrong and are ashamed of it. I don’t think a person should be respected when they’re ashamed of something bad they’ve done in the past. For example a lot of people are cutting Michael Vick a lot of slack because although he killed a lot of dogs he went to prison and ‘paid his debt to society’. First of all people make it sound like he immediately realized what he did was wrong and decided to go to prison. Wrong. Whether he thought what he did was wrong, or if he just wanted to get on Roger Goodell’s good side so he could get back in the NFL, or whatever he wanted it doesn’t matter because he didn’t decide to go to prison, he was forced to go to prison because what he did was horrible. I’m tired of this phrase ‘paid his debt to society’. When he donates a quarter of his paycheck to an animal shelter, or when he does hundreds of unforced hours of community service, or he cuts off four of his fingers – his choice which ones – then he will have paid his debt to society. But going to prison, not by choice but by the enforcement of the law, is not paying his debt to society. It’s him being forced to pay his debt to society. There is a difference. It is the same (in essence) as a sincere and insincere apology. Michael Vick should not be respected, and should not be assuaged of the gilt for what he did to those dogs just because he completed a prison sentence that was forced upon him. By the way I had no idea when I started writing this that I was going to bring up Michael Vick. In fact I’m not even one of the people who is enraged about him being allowed back in the NFL and being able to make millions of dollars again. I’m just a little annoyed at the surprising number of people who seem to have forgiven Michael Vick and continually state that he paid his debt to society without adding the clause that he was forced to do so without the admission of his own free will, unless of course he was to flee the country or shoot himself in the head. And by the way I don’t mind if we keep calling Roman Polanski a great director, but please when doing so can we always add the caveat that he enjoys having sex, after drugging of course, with 13 year olds? We don’t have to forget that he directed great films like China Town and The Pianist, but we shouldn’t forget that he’s a terrible person. And even if he’s ashamed of what he did to that girl he shouldn’t be respected for feeling ashamed. (Well that’s a nice way of bringing this overly long paragraph full circle.) And might I add what the fuck is the deal with France just allowing him to flee the United States after his trial and taking up residence there without so much as a slap on the wrist from the French government? I mean is it just a big fuck you to the USA? I pretty much understand a ‘fuck you’ of we aren’t going to help you in a war against ‘terrorism’ (terrorism quoted to imply that the war may not really be about terrorism) but what’s the deal with a ‘fuck you’ of we aren’t going to punish a guy who did terrible stuff to a young girl just because he has French citizenship? I get it France, you hate the USA, and I don’t even mine that. I sincerely hope that the only reason you aren’t punishing him is as a fuck you to the USA, because if it’s for other reasons you’ve got some problems. Please get the stick out of your ass and force this horrible man to pay his overdue debt to society. And don’t fucking respect him just because he’s a great director, because he’s done horrible things that he hasn’t even tried to amend. And even if he does feel ashamed it barely makes a difference and he should still be forced into prison and raped to death, but hopefully he won’t die until he’s had a hundred different men inside him, each one bigger than the last. Sorry to be so graphic, but rapists really piss me off.

And that was this weeks Quote of the Week. Tune in next week for a hopefully more enjoyable and less anger filled Quote of the Week. And I promise no sodomy talk next week. Well maybe…