#88…wait, what? Oh, I mean #12

#12 Trace Those Steps by Promise Of Redemption

This is a weird song, because when I think about it I wonder if it even deserves a spot on the list at all, but when I listen to it, which I just did – I always listen to the songs, sometimes multiple times, right before I write about them…by the way the first time I wrote that I wrote right in place of write and write in place of right, this angers me – I can’t help but wonder if this song should have made it in the top fifty, which in all honesty is still possible. Well only theoretically, and only from the point of me writing this right now, by the time you read this you’ll know where the song is placed, but as I’m writing this it’s currently at 88, but I might postpone it’s placement and write something up for another song and let this song make its way up the list a little more, but to be truthful I can’t see it anywhere but a place that begins with an 8, excluding the single digit 8.

Because I currently love so many songs by Promise of Redemption, which is the side/solo project of Shane Henderson the lead singer of the band Valencia which doesn’t have a song on this list and I don’t really like that much aside from a couple songs, I have decided to write some lyrics from a few of my most favorite Promise of Redemption songs and then write a little about it. I’ll link them so you can click on them and listen to the songs on youtube if you’d like, which I suggest. Also all of the songs are from the album When The Flowers Bloom, which I strongly prefer to the first album Lights That Flicker Will Surely Fade.

            “But if you listen to the sound of my heart beat you know you can truly tell. The feeling that you get when our eyes meet, it’s something more than you’ve ever felt.”

            Those are my favorite lyrics from the song Oh The Way. I like the use of the senses. Sound of the heart beat, sight of eyes meeting, and then the indescribable feeling one has when knowing their in love with a person and feeling something spectacular (you are aware you first said indescribable feeling and then went on to describe it as spectacular, right?) My explanation for that is that I have no idea how to actually describe spectacular, so to me they’re one in the same. There’s something magical about eyes, as opposed to heart beats that are pure science and do nothing but keep us alive. Sometimes I look at my eyes in the mirror really close for minutes at a time. It’s actually kind of creepy, but they’re just so damn beautiful. Well not really my eyes, but eyes in general. I’m not a spiritual man in any way, except for my devout Catholicism (that’s a joke), but I wouldn’t be completely 100% opposed to the idea that the actual occurrence of true love between two beings occurs through a process that happens when the two beings are staring in each others eyes. I’m going to write a novella based on that premise. On second thought I’m going to say I’m going to write a novella but completely forget about it two days from now.

            “It just doesn’t make sense that life is so precious, and all this time I’ve been wondering why is this supposed to be my reality. It’s not fair to her, it’s not fair to me.”

            Sunsets and Pictures: I often try to grasp the idea that this life I’m living is my reality and I’m stuck with it and for whatever reason all the ‘choices’ in my life have led me here. Apparently my ‘choices’ have been really shitty. Life of course isn’t fair. I think it’s more than fair to me. If I were a starving kid in Senegal I would have to assume that’d be more than I deserved, so what I have now is definitely very, very fair. Even though I don’t believe in God and hate religion that’s part of the reason I wish there was a Heaven. I wish the people who were handed bad lives and never got a ‘choice’, the kind of ‘choice’ I get everyday but continue to waste, would get wonderful after lives. I hope this is all one huge test. And that there is some kind of greater being with some kind of magnificent afterlife, but instead of being judged on how much we believe in God, and how much money we give to church, and how blindly we follow some book, we’re judge on what kind of people we are, and how we treat others, and how we fought through all the excuses we had to be bad people, like growing up poor and having shitty parents and being beaten, and instead we did the best to be the best kind of people we could be, and we didn’t do it because we thought we would be rewarded in Heaven for all eternity, but we did it because we knew that it was the right thing to do.

            “I’m sorry won’t cut it for the rest of your life. Get over yourself and say goodbye. I hope you realize you threw away the best thing that ever happened to you. Forget my name, forget my face, hope you hit your head and your memory gets erased, so I never have to deal with you again.”

            Okay, so I’m a liar, this song, Away We Go, is from the album Lights That Flicker Will Surely Fade, which I said I wasn’t going to include a song from, but I really like these lyrics. I’ve had moments where I’ve wanted to say this to a girl. But these thoughts always go away very fast. For me sorry will cut it, because I always feel like I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I always feel like I was the one who did something wrong. I feel like I could have been better, and then whichever thing she should be sorry for would have never happened. And I don’t want her to realize she threw away the best thing that ever happened to her, because I don’t know if that’s really the case. I constantly feel like she’ll do better. And she will forget my name and my face, which I don’t want to happen. I want to deal with her again. I constantly want to deal with her again, which is sad.

            “Cause these days are so long, and these drinks are so tall, and I’ve been spending my time counting the minutes just to feel consistent. Looking for you in every aspect of the world. There’s just no sunset, butterfly or rainbow that could compare to you, girl.”

            Rough Road Leads to the Stars: I feel like I’m looking for aspects of her in other girls, which is of course a bad thing because the other girls never live up to both my idealized version of her, and also just the regular version of her. I found someone though who surprisingly I can talk to without thinking of the aforementioned her. It’s interesting.

“So I’ll trace those steps back to where we first met. A place I’ll never forget cause you and I we can’t let all this space between a perfect you and a perfect me. It’s just so hard to believe that you’re gone.”

This is of course from the song that officially holds this spot on my countdown of favorite songs. One thing I love about this song is the overlapped lyrics in the last 30 seconds or so. I think that gives a nice ending to a song, and a nice ending to the album. And now listen to the song and it will give a nice ending to this blog post.

11 months and some odd days later

I can’t explain how this song jumped from 88 all the way to 12, except that I can. Because it’s taken me so much time to complete this list songs have had time to grow on me, which this song never stopped doing. Whenever I would go to place it on the list there were always a few songs I liked less than it, and because I’m slow and unproductive after I would place those songs on the list it would be a couple weeks later and this song would have grown on me some more so there would be more songs I couldn’t put in front of it, until now, where I couldn’t rightfully put any of the next 11 songs behind it.

Possibly more than the previous band on the countdown, Mansions, I’ve went to this band to console me on lonely nights. And where I previously said I didn’t like the album Lights That Flicker Will Surely Fade, I’ve now grown to like it quite a bit with lyrics like

            “This paper always listens and this pen is always by my side.” The Lights That Flicker Will Surely Fade

            “Its’ not hard to say I love you, when you’re far across the states. And now I know that you’re the only one who makes my day. So wait for me to fly to you, and I’ll tell you what I see. The truth I told is the truth I know is that you are what I need.” Dead Of Winter – that one really hits me close.

            “There’s this amazing shade of green, and brown in your eye. And when the light hits them, they shine on so bright. A sparkle in your smile, a scent to your clothes. And every time I’m near you, I wanna hold you so close. We’re far from goodbye.” A Life In Pictures

            I should have mentioned in the first post that some of the songs on When The Flowers Bloom were written after Shane Henderson’s girlfriend died, so it gives the album a creepily sweet and depressing touch that I love so much.

Also I alluded to Dyana a few times when I wrote this almost a year ago, and also talked of a girl who unlike any other I could finally talk to without missing Dyana. That girl was of course Annabelle, who sad to say has pretty much just taken almost the exact spot in my life that Dyana once held. Now if things don’t work out with Annabelle, which I refuse to let happen (sounds creepyish) yeah…I’m just going to be thinking about Annabelle when I talk to any other girl. I thought I was madly in love with Dyana. I was madly in love with Dyana. I still love who she is, and care about her a lot, but because of Annabelle I know I don’t have to be with Dyana to be happy. In a way it’s been good for me, because I know that even if I can’t be with the person I love it doesn’t mean I won’t find someone else who is a better fit for me. So I always know even if things are shit in my love life it doesn’t mean it will always be that way. Of course it could always be that way. That’s scary to think about. But there’s a chance. And that’s really all I need to keep going.

#13 I Don’t Wanna Be You Anymore

#13 The Worst Part by Mansions

Dependent on whether God damn is one or two words, this song may start out with the best six or seven words ever, “Fuck you and your Goddamn scene.” And what strengthens it is that it just cuts to the chase. There’s no musical build up. You play the song and you’re hit with drumsticks knocking together four times then, “Fuck you and your God damn scene,” and immediately you – you being me because I can of course only speak for myself – think, “Oh shit, this shits going down right now.” And then you think, “Wait, did I just say shit twice within four words?” And then you stop thinking because you’re sucked into the fucking amazing song.

A few months back on one mildly warm summer’s day while listening to Mansions over and over and over again I made the proclamation to me, my cousin, the heavens and my 24 twitter followers – I’ve amassed a lot more since then, (so a lot means 2 now?) – that Mansions had replaced Bright Eyes as my fifth favorite band of all time. It wasn’t a hard decision when really thinking about it. Over the past year Bright Eyes has had a huge downgrade in my musical rotation, which isn’t really a rotation at all and more of a whatever I feel like listening to I listen to even if I happen to be listening to the same thing for the past two weeks, which I’m pretty sure is how everyone listens to music, so it’s nothing unique.

The fall of Bright Eyes I think has a lot to do with the rise of Mansions. As I said the music I listen to usually depends on what mood I am in, and sad (unironically) to say the mood I’m most often in is sad – which makes it all the more impressive that Say Anything is my favorite band because they only have a few songs that I really go to when I’m in a sad mood, two of which come up later on this list – If you know Bright Eyes you know a lot of it is very emotional, so I listened to Bright Eyes a lot when I first discovered them, but then Mansions came along, and I think I just connected more with them.

Also over the past year and a half or so my sadness has manifested in a somewhat high amount of anger – luckily this anger is almost never taken out on anyone but myself. “Fuck you and your Goddamn scene,” is a pretty angry line, which is a lot of the reason I like it. I don’t say fuck you to a lot of people. I think it a lot though. I think that’s why I’ve been feeling more angry, because I don’t let out my anger in the moment. I’ve become pretty good at holding back my emotion in the moment, and instead harnessing all of it for a later moment in time when I can use it to bring myself to new forms of depression. I think it’s very healthy. Other at least semi-ly angry lines I like,

            “All she really wanted was to fuck his accent, and somehow I’m responsible.” Por Favor Is Spanish

            “All you do is talk, talk talk, all about your self, self self, and I wonder if anyone else sees through your smile. When you’re going on and on, I never want the things you want. Would it kill you to see that it’s not cute to anyone who isn’t you.” Talk Talk Talk

            “So go to bed, or go to hell. I just called to wish you unwell.” Unwell

            “You’re all those things, I just can’t see, you’re screaming who I will always be. But I can change. Yes I will change, my face, forget my name.” Wormhole

“And while we’re on the topic you’re an asshole and you know it. Thinking everyone loves everything you do. But I have never been impressed when you make your drunken mess. Oh to think that once I thought that you were through, but now I don’t. No I don’t believe in you.” Take It Back

At this point in time Mansions is the only band I can see ever having a shot at replacing Say Anything as my favorite band of all time – that’s not true at all, Los Campesinos has a chance as well. Over the past year I haven’t connected with a band as much as I’ve connected with Mansions. I love the music and I love the lyrics even more.

“And if there ever was a time that I needed you, then baby I need you right now. Everyone else disappoints me, but you have never let me down. And I don’t think I could live without so please don’t ever go, ‘cause I need you now, and that you should know.” Millions Of Pieces

#22 “unused, unlike you”

#22 My Ricochet by Northstar

If nothing else I implore you to listen to the last one minute and thirteen seconds of this song.

What I’ve loved about doing this countdown is that I’ve discovered things I’ve never noticed about songs I love. I don’t pretend to completely understand this song, but I’m a bit closer I believe. I’ve always loved the lyrics towards the end of this song that I thought were,

“And I will never understand love of the roses that grow for you. But I know they keep on dying. They always keep on dying. I don’t care about you now you’re not alive.”

But I was mistaken, for as I thought those were the lyrics, along with apparently everyone else who posted the lyrics for this song online, but after reading the lyrics straight out of the CD booklet which I own it turns out that “I will never understand love of the roses that grow for you” is actually “I will never understand love or the roses that grow for you.” It’s or, not of. This makes a huge difference. The person doesn’t understand both love and the roses that grow for, assumedly, her.

“I don’t care about you now you’re not alive,” isn’t using “you’re not alive” in a metaphorical sense, as if she’s still alive she just dead to him. She’s really dead. And while I don’t fully know why he doesn’t care about her – although part of me believes it’s because she’s dead, and therefore even if we are to believe there is some sort of after life, for the song does say “Why don’t you melt way down here, with Heaven so far and Hell so near,” whatever happens to her spirit is out of his hands – but the line, “You threw up my best skin, ‘cause you never loved it,” suggests that she didn’t care about him as much as he cared about her when she was alive, and now he holds some resentment over that. And because he uses the word “now” I have no choice but to assume he cared about her before.

The talk of roses growing for her is mostly what makes me think she’s really dead, whereas before I thought it was just love of roses growing for her and didn’t really know what to think, but I liked the poeticness of it. The roses, I believe, are the flowers being placed at her grave by loved ones. Just as he doesn’t understand the love that grows for her – or perhaps just love in general – he doesn’t understand why people care enough to keep replacing the roses. I assume they keep being replaced because he says, “I know they keep on dying.” In order to keep dying they must first keep being alive, and the easiest answer for that is that they keep being replaced.

This post probably seems absolutely meaningless to everyone but me, and perhaps any Northstar fans who stumble upon it. I don’t care much for dissecting lyrics, and the only reason I do it now is because I loved, and still do love, these lyrics, and I’ve sung them a lot – according to Lastfm I’ve listened to this song 207 times, that’s three different versions of the song, regular, acoustic, live, and I’ve probably sung the song about 1/3 of those times, and then probably 100 other times when the song just popped into my head.

He knows that the roses keep on growing and dying for her, which means somehow, whether being told by someone or visiting it himself, he’s keeping tabs on what is going on with her grave. I think he still cares about her. I don’t know if I have ample reason to believe that, or I just want to believe it, but I believe it.

#37 If It Makes You Less Sad I’ll Write My First Blog Post In Over A Week…what, that makes you more sad?

#37 The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot by Brand New

I was a big Brand New fan from almost the beginning of their rise to fame, and by fame I don’t mean real fame, just fame as in having a few million people know who you are but not having even a single percent of the awareness of the populace that Lady Gaga or even Justin Bieber (and now Rebecca Black) have – by the way, concerning Rebecca Black and how people like to make fun of her song Friday, please keep in mind that she didn’t write it, and that it was written and produced by Clarence Jey and Patrice Wilson, so lay off Rebecca Black, she’s only 13, and start making fun of those assumedly adult hacks – I remember recording the music video for Jude Law And A Semester Abroad and watching it over and over again. It wasn’t too interesting of a music video, I just loved the song. It did that thing that I hate in videos where it shows the band playing their instruments. I’d rather just have a story in the music video. Showing the band playing their instruments seems like a cop out to me. I didn’t mind it back then, but now it’s been totally fucked out. But I remember that video being the first time I saw a guitarist do that thing where they sling the guitar around their body and then catch it and start playing again. I was completely amazed by that.

The point is that I loved Brand New, and I had bought their first album, Your Favorite Weapon, and loved that, but then my family no longer had cable, and therefore no longer had MTV, and I didn’t have the internet, so I was never aware of when bands came out with new albums, so I was completely unaware of Brand New’s second album until like two years after it had came out. And the first time I became aware of it was through this song, which when I first heard I didn’t even realize it was Brand New.

  One day it came on my favorite radio station, 94.7 NRK, which I don’t listen to anymore because listening to the radio is a hassle, and a couple seconds into the song I could tell that I was going to like it so I jumped over to the radio and hit the record bottom on the built in cassette player – Yep, my radio came with a cassette player, jealous? As I assume most people my age did, I used to always record songs off the radio because it was cheaper than CDs and illegally downloading songs off the internet ironically could only be done by the people who had money and could afford computers – I say that like this was 20 years ago and computers were the size of a two door Honda, but in reality it was only like six or seven years ago. So I loved the song immediately and would listen to it a lot, but never knowing it was sung by Jesse Lacey because it sounded a lot different than how he had sung on Your Favorite Weapon. It was only weeks, or perhaps months, later when Jamie Cooley was talking about the song before she played it and had mentioned it was by Brand New. Then I quickly did the math that it was a song I didn’t know by Brand New and that they must have a new album out and I quickly bought the album, Deaj Entendu (translated to Already Heard), even though I didn’t have much money back then.

I kind of liked that about the past. Lately whenever I want to buy a CD I just buy the CD and don’t really think about it much in financial terms. Although nowadays I pretty much only buy CDs of bands I love, partly to help support them financially, although I suppose if I wanted to help them financially I should really stop buying so many of the CDs used. It’s just a cheap habit I can’t quite kick. The point is that back in the olden days I never had any money because I was just a dumb kid (whereas now the ‘kid’ part can be dropped) so the only time I could get CDs was for Christmas or my birthday or with the little money I would save up, so every time I got a CD it would mean a lot to me. Not to mention that my music collection was so much smaller, and there weren’t ways like Youtube, or Pandora, or Lastfm.com to listen to and find new music for free, so I would listen to the CD over and over again. So I don’t get that connection with new music that I used to, except with the bands I love of course, where I’ll try not to listen to new singles and just wait until the CD comes out and then buy a physical copy of the CD and listen to it over and over again throughout the day just like I used to do in the past.

I should probably talk about this song, because lyrically it’s such a beautiful song. And I really do mean beautiful. I don’t just want to get it drunk, fuck the shit out of it, and then not call it back the next day. I want to slowly open up to it, and caress it, and make passionate love to it, and then not call it back the next day – I assume I will have moved on to a new beautiful song by then. Let me show you some of my favorite lyrics from the song.

“And if it makes you less sad, I’ll take your pictures all down. Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.”

“And if it makes you less sad, we’ll start talking again. You can tell me how vile, I already know that I am.”

#84 The Truth Is, You Should Lie With Me by Say Anything

“I Caught you looking at my reflection. This is not the way we procreate. Give me something else than affection. Swollen suffering fantasy of hate.”

The truth is I started this one out with lyrics because I didn’t know what to start off saying. Also I didn’t purposely start this paragraph with ‘the truth is’ because that’s how the name of the song starts. Rather it was probably just stuck in my head from staring at it for so long, so when I went to start this off it naturally fit in with how I wanted to start it. I don’t know why I like to explain when I chose to write things a certain way, but I can guarantee you that if I did know why I would explain it to you. [Jesus H. Christ, I just read this paragraph over and it’s truly terrible, I blame none of you if you decide to stop reading….now.]

I don’t know how many Say Anything songs made my list, so far this is the third, and I probably won’t officially count how many there were until the last one is written about, which won’t be for a long time, but I can safely presume that Say Anything has more songs on this list than any other band.

Wow, I’m boring myself. I haven’t said one interesting thing yet, nor have I said anything with even a trace of humor in it. I’m off my game tonight (which ironically is actually you being on your game) touché. Maybe it’s because unlike when I usually write I’m not listening to music, but instead watching an old episode of King of the Hill, which is actually one of the newer episodes of it, which I could tell because there was a reference to Michael Buble, only with an accent mark over the e.? Or maybe the writing sucks because I was chewing on a sucker stick that has been devoid of all sucker remnants for at least half an hour? (Maybe you should just talk about the damn song?)

“You’re a pretty face, you should like me. I want to get used by you. Cause I’m full of hate, just excite me. I want to get bruised by you.”

Again, lyrics have been written because I am not sure what else to write. I could tell you all about how I’m not wearing any pants right now, but those stories usually only go over well with bulimic forums (Are the people in the forum bulimic or is the forum itself bulimic?) It doesn’t matter, it was just a joke. Crap, Star Trek The Next Generation is on. Change the channel. Change the channel! I’m not a Star Trek fan, if you couldn’t tell. I don’t have any particular beef with Patrick Stewart. [Didn’t plan this, but that’s not the last time ‘beef’ will be brought up.] In fact I like him for his work on American Dad. I don’t particularly love the show American Dad, I just like that a person of his celebrity would be a semi regular voice actor on a show of that persuasion. Why have you not changed the channel yet? (You have to change the channel yourself, the readers can’t) Oh. Well if that isn’t a d’oh moment right there (for the love of God talk about the song).

“When you burn in hell they’ll remind you of all the things you’ve screwed up in your life. I’ll be one of them if you’re inclined to turn away from the ever glowing light.”

I actually enjoy that section of lyrics from the song very much, but more importantly I bet if there was a list of the most common phrases used on my blog ‘for the love of God’ would be among the most frequent ones used, along with ‘you gotta believe me’, ‘Jesus H. Christ’, ‘I swear I wasn’t masturbating to that,’ and of course, ‘Jesus H. Christ, I swear I wasn’t masturbating to that, for the love of God, you gotta believe me!’

Can someone please tell me why I’m staring at the guy from Reading Rainbowand a monster with odd looking long hair and an awkward goatee? The special effects on this show are so bad it’s actually entertaining. [That had nothing to do with that character’s hair and make-up.]

“All I want is to see through you. If only you were alive I could trust in you. But now alone in your bed we’ll prove. You do not have to love to be in pain, boo.”

By far my mostest favoritest part of the song is the lastest 39 and ½ seconds. I like adding ‘est’ to the end of words. Screw getting plastic surgery, or dating a younger person, if you want to feel younger just add ‘est’ to the end of everything. Makes me feel like I’m five.

What the hell, they don’t have a tanning machine on the Starship Enterprise? Lieutenant Commander Data is paler than Conan O’Brien’s ass in the dead of winter (What did Conan ever do to you?) Nothing, but me and his ass have beef. And I didn’t start it. But if his ass wants beef I’m more than willing to give his ass some big beef (I hate you) I hate me too.

“The Truth is, you should lie with me.”

#85 This is Now by The Right Coast

I am absolutely in love with this song, in a non homosexual way, assuming that the song is in fact male, assuming that songs have genders at all, which if I had a choice over my way of believing I would say they do not have genders, but alas, I shall end the sentence with ‘but who knows?’

I’m not sure how long ago I discovered this little gem of a band, but it’s been within the last six month and since that time I’ve listened to this particular song 72 times, not counting youtube where I just listened to three different versions of it, and I’ve listened to the band 207 times, which is a lot if you considered I only have one EP by them with four songs on it, all of which are at least okay, and three of which are really good or better.

All She Wanted which is probably my second favorite of their songs features the much enjoyed lyrics, “All she wanted were the nights she gave up. I fell in love but she had enough. Cause all she sees in love is turning back to the clouds and giving up.”

Madeline, a slower song that builds up to a nice ending, features the lyrics, “Throughout the brightest city I know, there’s nothing so damn pretty as this girl who gave her heart to the world.”

There’s no particular reason for me to give you lyrics from those songs, because I really have nothing to say about them, I just enjoy them, and therefore they have been written.

This Is Now features lyrics in its chorus that I can relate to very much, “So if they’re playing the song I wrote on the radio I hope it makes you so frustrated, I hope you hate it.” That is where 95 percent of the desire I have to write a song comes from. I think we all have our weak moments when we want to frustrate our ex lovers. And what better way is there than to write a song about the ex lover, perhaps a negative song about the ex lover, and getting it on the radio for millions of people, of course including the ex lover, to hear? There is no better way. Some might argue putting a sex tape on the internet of the ex lover would be better, but that won’t get to as many people, plus if the ex lover is hot and good at sex there’s really no shame in it.

As you all know I’ve consumed a decent amount of porn in my short lifetime. What I’ve discovered is that for better or worse any couple with a video camera is going to record themselves having sex, and guess what, if that girl breaks up with the guy then that tape is going to be put on the internet. I think guys think about this before hand too. I’ve seen far too many videos of a girl going down on a guy and you never get to see the guy’s face (do you want to?) not in the least. I just wish girls weren’t so naïve. The guy is clearly hiding himself because in his head he’s constantly thinking, ‘if this bitch does me wrong I’m putting this on the internet and sending the link to her grandma.’

I have no desire to make a sex tape for that reason. I don’t want a girl breaking up with me, and then just to humiliate me more putting a video of my small penis on the internet for all the world to see (you think the whole world would see your sex tape) I’d be sending links to everyone (I thought you wouldn’t want anyone to see your penis?) Yeah, but if it’s out there I might as well go for broke and get as many people as possible to see it.

Do people really think they’re never going to break up? Or that if they do their spouse won’t put their sex tape on the internet? Maybe I’ve just grown cynical. I really do wish we could live in an era where we could record as many sex tapes as we wanted with as many people as we wanted without the fear of them ending up on the internet, but unfortunately everything must end up on the internet. Hell, the other day I was certain I came across my sex tape, and I haven’t even had sex My theory was that my future ex girlfriend invented a time machine, because all of my girlfriends must of course be scientists, and she came back in time and put my sex tape on the internet to retroactively humiliate me. Memo to self: stop dating vindictive physicists.

#86 And We Exhale And Roll Our Eyes In Unison by Los Campesinos

Ugly truth of men, or at least just me: I just scratched myself in my private area with my bare hand, skin on skin, and then reached into my thing of Nerds – the candy, I don’t keep a thing of nerd people around me, although I should – with the same hand and then inserted said Nerds into my mouth not even giving a damn. If I could would I lick my balls? No, not at all. Would I lick my hand after I scratched my balls with it? I’ll say no, but of course you know I mean yes (what does this have to do with the song?) As always, absolutely nothing.

Anybody who is reading this won’t like this song. I can almost guarantee you that. I don’t know what it is, but no one I know likes Los Campesinos. I’d like to believe that their songs have too much going on at once and no one’s feeble brain can comprehend it all perfectly except mine. That’s probably not the reason. I think that’s one complaint though, that too much is going on at once. I also think people don’t like the guy’s voice. I don’t mind it, and I in fact enjoy the girl’s voice and wouldn’t mind her going off and doing a side project one day, and by ‘side project’ I mean me (lame joke) I know, but the jokes have gotta come somewhere.

I think if people are going to like any part of this song it will be just after the one minute and eight second mark, when both singers sing, but the girl’s voice is clearly dominant, the lyrics [none of the information in that sentence is relevant because I couldn't find the normal version of the song on youtube],

“It takes an educated guess to see I like you little at best. And if you come here for the faces hope you leave under duress. And you still treat it like a novelty, less pop concert, more butchery, and we exhale and roll our eyes in unison.”

I don’t know why I assume people would like that part best, if that being the only part they even vaguely like at all, I just do. So let me know what you think. Or don’t let me know anything at all, but either way I suggest listening to the song if for no other reason to let your self know if my assessment is right. I don’t really care that much if I’m right or wrong, mostly because I’m already convinced I’m wrong.

That’s pretty much all I have to say about this song. Other than that for a brief moment I was thinking about taking it off the list and adding a Promise Of Redemption song. Okay, actually I wasn’t thinking that, but I am thinking that now. Promise of Redemption has one song on the list that’s coming up shortly, but if I were doing this a year from now there could be a few more making the list, but I’ll talk about that when I write for that song.

I’m not terribly in the writing mood at the moment. I kind of just want to listen to sad music and…holy fuck I just looked at the time and it’s two in the freaking morning…try and fall asleep. Why sad music you ask. Well actually you didn’t ask, so I’m not going to answer.

Damn, I was so vehemently going to town on these Nerds that I tore the box. This isn’t good. Now you’re thinking, ‘wait a second, I want to know why he wants to listen to sad music.’ See what I did there? At first I brought up the topic, but if I bring it up you don’t really care to know, it’s just another guy complaining about being sad. But if I go on to not talk about it, it becomes a secret, a secret you’re not privy too, and now you have to know (I’m sure no one was thinking that way) well you’re wrong good sir, because when I read this years from now I’ll be thinking that.

I don’t know why sad music. Happy music just seems so depressing (infinite question marks here). Well in a sense it makes sense – what an odd sentence, I love it. There’s this one song where this guy is singing about finding the perfect girl, and being happy and in love and it’s just so disgusting. I’m not even happy for the guy anymore. I’ve become so cynical. I’m like, ‘fuck you guy. We get it, you’re in love, but you don’t have to scream it in my fucking ear,’ which is rude of me because I was the one who put the song on my ipod and turned the volume all the way up. But still I blame him. He shouldn’t have made the song so damn good. By the way, the specific song I’m thinking of is actually on my list, so if you’re reading this in the future hopefully I will have came back here and posted a link to it. But if you’re reading this in the now, or perhaps even in the past the song must remain a secret, meaning you want to know what it is that much more badlier (badlier isn’t a word) it will be by the time the future people are reading this.

#90 3685 by The Spill Canvas

Funny story that just took place seconds before I typed this. I haven’t figured out where each song on this list will be placed yet, so each time I pick what the next song is I look at the twenty songs currently ranked lowest and try and figure out which one should go next. Well the currently lowest ranked song was this one, but I like it a lot, so I was going to save it for at least a few more spots, but then randomly on my ipod this song came on, and since I don’t believe in signs I decided to annoy myself and pretend it was a sign directly from none other than God, who is a big The Spill Canvas fan (even though he gave you a sign that made them appear lower on the list than if he hadn’t given you a sign at all?) He couldn’t wait to hear my take on the song.

This is one of those songs that is better if you don’t look too closely at the lyrics and try to find a story within. I say this because at the beginning he clearly takes blame for the relationship not working,

“My emptry promises led to our demise. And I could never tell you how I really feel. And for that I eternally apologize.”

Okay, can we all just agree when in relationships that we’ll tell each other exactly how we really feel? Because it’s really annoying to have to guess what’s going through one’s mind, especially when they tell you it’s the opposite of what it really is. This is why I always make it a point to do the exact opposite of what girls tell me, because I know that’s really what they want. So when I’m in the sack going down on a girl and she’s moaning telling me it feels great and not to stop, I know she’s lying, so I quickly make my way to her feet and start licking her toes, spreading on a little mustard to spice things up first of course. And when she says, “ew, that’s disgusting, what the hell are you doing? Stop immediately.” I know I’m doing everything exactly to her liking. Sometimes I amaze myself with just how much of a ladies man I am.

“I hope you never forget the tapping at your window. With the harsh cold and the jealousy running through my bones. We were both selfish, but I think I was more.”

He’s even claiming to be the more selfish of the two. That sounds like he’s taking the responsibility of ruining the relationship. I blame the jealousy running through his bones. That sounds unpleasant too. My jealously runs through my veins, and that’s uncomfortable enough. I couldn’t imagine having anything, especially something so messy as jealously, running through my bones. I need to get that jealously out of my veins. I claim it’s not jealously, just rational thinking. Why would a girl be with me when there’s fifty million and eighteen guys at least twenty times better than me? Some times I’ll write my girlfriend a 30 page thesis detailing just how much of an improvement she could be making on her life by dating someone else. And on special occasions I even set her up on a few blind dates with specially selected men I deem worthy enough of her precious time. I realize I may lose her, but hey, if I really love her I’m going to do what’s best for her. And I’m pretty confident I can’t be what’s best for anyone. Except maybe Scarlett Johansson.

“I would like to thank you for showing me a part of myself that I have never seen. Yeah, I was young and dumb, but it still was fun. I’m forever indebted to you. I hope you feel the same”

He’s forever indebted to her! He’s clearly taking all the blame. All of it. It’s not even close. I almost feel bad for this girl now. But at the same time I’m happy for her because she clearly was in a relationship with a guy who didn’t deserve her. And this is what makes the final lyrics of the song not so meaningful.

“You seem like such a big part of my life and my heart. But the truth is that I’ve found something new, and she easily towers over you.”

Holy mother of God, Batman. He just totally flip flopped on everything he said and slapped a garden hoe. Earlier in the song he was taking the blame and now he’s shoving it in her face letting her know just how much better his new girl is than her. Wow, completely tactless. Nope, not one iota of tact to be found.

Here are my options to believe in. A) the guy is a douche and was setting his ex girlfriend up with the earlier self blaming lyrics just so it would be even more unexpected and much more impactful when he tells her just how much better his new girlfriend is. B) I’ve got nothing for B. I’m pretty much resigned to believing in A. But nonetheless, I’m going to go ahead and still enjoy the end of the song, and continue to let it stay in my pantheon of songs I’ll use to get over a girl.  Unfortunately with this song it’s kind of more meaningful if I find a girl to help me get over the previous girl. I don’t know if you folks at home are keeping count, but that involves two girls. I’m having enough trouble finding one girl. If I get two girls in my lifetime Satan can go ahead and put ‘snowman making’ on the brochure for hell.